Rhinos Feel Piranha Bite 0

The Piranhas welcomed back MacGlashan (1 goal) and Drewbie (2 goals), 2 of their veteran champions that have been seen so rarely at Kastilahn Towers that DK had to introduce them to the rest of the team before the game. Both played pivotal roles in the win that was set up by a dominant midfield and strong backline that was able to control the Rhino danger men in Gordo and McClamroch.

The game opened up with Lincoln Park scoring their first within a minute and the writing was already on the wall. El Presidente Ehlers was electrifying as he carved up both Fenton and the Rhino backline as he helped himself to 2 for the quarter. Roofy’s bro in law Brian kicked the first of his 3 as the Piranhas took control in the centre giving their forwards every opportunity.

The Rhinos were missing Miller, Morgan, McCoombe, LeBlanc, Anderson and ‘Biggun’ Jackson but still was able to muster a pretty decent team that was shell shocked at quarter team. McClamroch was able to score the first for the Rhinos just before quarter time giving the rhinos some fight as they looked to the second quarter. At the first break, LP led 3.2: 20 to 1.3: 9

McClamroch banged on another to open the second and was threatening to win the game off his own boot as the Rhinos started to charge but as soon as they began to threaten, the Piranha fought back and once he smelt blood, he went straight for the throat. MacGlashan produced a bomb from 50 out before Brian got his second. Roofy started getting loose and bagged himself 2 while Haysie found plenty of room on the wing and bagged one for himself. Poncho nailed a bomb from the boundary and at the half, the Piranhas were dominating every aspect of the game and were thinking how far. At the long break, a demoralized Rhino outfit trailed by over 7 goals being 2.3: 15 against a potent Piranhas team 9.4: 58

Drake swung the changes and demanded more of his backline but numbers were against him. Mustard did a splendid job on MacGlashan and Fenton was starting to get on top of Ehlers as the rhinos fought back. Brian put another nail in the Rhino coffin with his third to announce his arrival on the CAFA scene. Brian Hoyt hit back for Wrigleyville with a lovely shot from the boundary and complimented this with his second minutes later. Ehlers broke away from Fenton to kick his second before the Rhinos hit back with their third for the quarter in what can only be described as the greatest goal in US history. Lets see if I can properly describe this…… “Ambrosino collects the pill 40 out. He dodges and he weaves and he dodges again before straightening up from 30 out and going ‘BANG’ and a wobbly, mongrel punt leaves his boot and is destined for an out on the full call before cannoning into the back of OBK’s head and magically back into the hands of Gordo who slams it back on the boot, this time from 20 out and sees it sail straight through the middle of the hey diddle diddle”. The game comes to a halt and time is called as players from both teams try to pick themselves up off the ground as OBK walks around in a daze and Gordo celebrates. At the orange break, LP led 11.7: 73 to WV 5.3: 33

Drake had one more move up his sleeve and threw everyone behind the ball and put himself, Gordo and a still dazed OBK up forward as the Rhinos gambled on a big last quarter. In the fading light, the move almost paid off as B. Hoyt ran through the middle and hit his coach on the left tit out in front of Beau Rogers. The ensuing goal to Drake sparked the Rhino for a last hurrah and on the next play Hoyt P was able to grab the pig skin and bomb it up forward where Drake marked over Beau again, 30 out. The kick however could not match the grab and the Piranhas were able to rebound and dominate the footy and run the game into the ground as Hayse added his second to put the game away. The Rhinos continued to fight and Drake kicked his second for the game with a big bomb from the boundary that set the crowd alight. The Piranhas put Kastilahn on Drake and Phil Cisco continued to pester the hell out of Gordo and the Piranhas were able to shut the game down and continue to come good at the business end of the season. The Piranhas are now the team to look at as the Tigers continue to struggle for numbers and the Rhinos struggle for consistency. More threatening is that this Piranha team was without Ternes and Deri Morgan both of who will add a lot more power and strength to an already impressive line up. If they can afford the big wages of MacGlashan and Ehlers to ensure they continue to play, the Pirnahas will certainly give this competition a shot in the arm as they ran out 34 point winners in this one.


Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
Piranhas 3.2.20 6.2.38 2.3.15 1.3.9 12.10.82
Rhinos 1.3.9 1.0.6 3.0.18 2.3.15 7.6.48
Goals Piranhas: Brian Monico (3), Ward (2), Hayes (2), Ehlers (2), Bradley, MacGlashan, Cisco
Rhinos: Hoyt B (2), McClamroch (2), Drake (2), Ambrosino
Best Piranhas: Brian Monico, Hayes, Cisco, Byron, Kastilan, Livie
Rhinos: Hoyt P, Fenton, Panek
Chicago Bounces Kangaroo's

Chicago Bounces Kangaroo's 0

It was a picture perfect day on the lakefront in Chicago as these two old foes once again locked horns in battle for the MAAFL crown. Nashville were looking to keep their slim hopes of premiership glory alive and Chicago were hoping to continue their unbeaten run this season. Playing 14 a side and in front of the huge Chicago crowd, this was sure to be a classic.

The game started with the melodic stylings of Nick on the bagpipes and Australia’s Consular General in Chicago, Mr Bob Charles flipping the coin. As the snags sizzled and refreshments were taken, the big men began to fly.

A problem with the United team has been the leads they often gift opposition teams with slow starts but today wasn’t the day for this to happen. Chicago came out of the blocks fired up and caught the Roo boys unaware. Big Drew Ehlers was on fire as he marked strongly and kicked truly for Chicago’s first. He added another minutes later and the run was all Chicago as Nashville struggled to break the strong Chicago backline led by best on ground Funky Miller and complimented by Frank Bradley, Jacko and DK.

The irrepressible Brian Hoyt was also proving dangerous up front as he managed his first, setting the crowd alight with chants of “we love you Brian”, chants that were echoed by his coach as the Chicago forwards took control but inaccurate kicking proved costly as the boys from Chi town went into the first break 3.4: 22 leaders to Nashville’s 0.2: 2.

The second quarter saw the Roos kicking with the 1 or 2 goal breeze that trickled in off the beautiful azure waters of Lake Michigan. Nashville tightened defensively but an unmarked Drake slipped forward to kick a coaches goal to get things going for United. He and Mustard De Jong were working in tandem through the middle and minutes later Mustard added to the tally with a lovely goal 40 meters out. Bad kicking again plagued Chicago but the use of the ball, their run through the middle and staunch defense could not be faulted and when Gordo snagged his first, the game threatened to get away from the boys of the south but just like that, momentum changed and Nashville started to play like the Nashville of old. Without big Drew Cox, the forward line wasn’t at it’s best but with Dee and Luke starting to get more and more of the ball, Nashville started to out run and out hustle a cocky Chicago. On a fantastic lead, Nashville’s second gamer ‘plugger’ pulled in a classic grab and duly went back and went ‘bang’ to bring up the two hand salute from the umpire and get the scoreboard clicking for the roos. But Nashville also suffered the yips and some bad kicking in front of goal led them to the main break 6 goals down. Chicago 6.10: 46 to Nashville 1.4: 10

Nashville started the second half where they left off the first and were able to dominate the first half of the quarter as they slammed on two big ones to worry the impressive Chicago crowd and bring the difference back to 4 straight kicks but the experienced Chicago team playing on their own heap were not going to be outdone and momentum soon swung back to the boys from Americas greatest city as Brian Hoyt claimed his second, followed soon by another pair from the two damaging, if inaccurate forwards Roofy and Toddy McClamroch to send Chicago into the orange break 9.14: 68 to 3.4: 22 up.

Nashville would not throw in the towel and battled out the game in the last quarter throwing, literally, everything at Chicago with some interesting tactics that may be looked at closely by the MAAFL board. Despite this, Nashville added one more and Pat Hoyt finally kicked one straight to seal the game and set up a classic, winner takes all match against Milwaukee in September.


Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
United 3.4.22 3.6.24 3.4.22 1.5.11 10.19.79
Nashville 0.2.2 1.2.8 2.0.12 1.1.7 4.5.29
Goals United: Hoyt B (2), Ehlers (2), Ward, Hoyt P, Drake, Ambrosino, De Jong, McClamroch
Nashville: None
Best United: Hoyt B, Ehlers, McClamroch, Morgan J, Miller
Nashville: None

Rhinos Triumph in Thriller 0

In one of the classic Metro football games, the Wrigleyville Rhinos were able to hold out a fast finishing Tiger outfit Friday night in Round 8 of Metro Footy at Burgmann Fields.

Under a beautiful Chicago sky and in perfect conditions, Wrigleyville jumped out to an early lead which after just 5 minutes had turned into a 3 goal lead as the Tigers struggled against the Rhinos only import in big Roofy who’s back to some of his best form after the busted ribs. While Wrigleyville had impressive numbers again, the Tigers couldn’t say the same with a very poor turn up resulting in them getting the best of the Piranhas including the much anticipated return of ex Revo player and famed Shark killer Pete Ternes.

Big Roofy slipped 3 through in the first and the vastly improved Mike Panek got himself one on the run before the Tigers had even threatened the Rhino backs. After a nice ball in from Mustard, Oscar Meyer marked and kicked truly for his first but when another vastly improved player in Dave Worniak ran into an open goal, the Rhinos started to exert some authority. The Outback Kid got amongst the goals and sent the Rhinos into the break 6.2: 38 to 1.2: 8 and looking to put the game away by half time.

The Tigers pulled a swifty at the break and introduced first gamer Brian (Roofys bro in law) who, despite never seeing the game, managed to get the ball immediately and bring up a point for the Tiges. By the end of the quarter, he’d managed another 3 minors in a very impressive debut. Oscar Meyer was being a thorn in the Rhinos hide and he snuck in another before the Rhinos steadied through the irrepressible Gordo and his two goals righted the ship before Hazie finally found some space and got one back after a good run just before the half. At the main break, the Rhinos still had the game by the short and curlies 8.4: 52 to 3. 8: 26.

Mustard tried the changes and Drake kept them to a mininum as the Tigers looked for a spark and they found it in Hayzie who put his hand up for his MAAFL debut with a near best on ground performance. In combination with Betty Palmer, the two Piranhas ran the Rhino midfield ragged but the Tigers found it hard to break the Fenton, Miller, Drake and Morgan juggernaut down back and only managed 2 for the quarter with one going to debutant Brian and the other coming straight out of Oscars arse with a handy snap that had a Shane Warne leg break attached to it.

For the Rhinos, Roofy was unstoppable and in the end, was the difference between the two teams. His three for the quarter sent the Rhinos further ahead and looking impossible to stop. At the orange break, the Rhinos led 11.4: 70 to 5.10: 40

Under the darkening skies of Burgmann Fields, the Rhinos looked to have the game in hand but that can be a killer in football and the Tigers hit them with everything they had in a magnificent final term. Hayes and Palmer ran riot and with Mustard giving them first use, the Rhino backs were under massive pressure. Oscar ran into an open goal to make it 4 for the afternoon, and the Tigers continued to out run and out play the fading Rhinos. McClamroch gave his all on the wing for the reigning premiers but when Uhlmann started to get more of it, the game swung to become completely controlled by the Tigers. Another piranha in Beau Rogers kicked a handy goal to make it closer and when Roofy’s bro in law Brian kicked his second, the Tigers had pulled back to within a kick and were finishing all over the top of the spent Rhinos who were literally saved by the bell as they ran out 6 point winners in what was a classic game and one that will be talked about for a long time, especially the impressive form of the Piranha fill ins with Hayze, Rogers, Palmer, Kastilahn, Ternes, and Cisco literally on fire for the Tigers and Roofy dominating for the Rhinos.

In the end, winners are grinners and after the game, Rhino coach Drake was rapt with the first three quarters but had nothing to say to describe the worrying trend of Rhino fade outs. Mustard left impressed with the effort but disappointed with his teams poor numbers. Perhaps the only happy bloke from the whole night was DK who watched as Ternes returned to form and his Piranhas combined for their best showing of the season. Asked about it later, DK replied “Bit bloody ironic isn’t it? I mean, there was more Piranhas than Tigers on the Tiger team and my blokes were their best. We wouldn’t be bottom if the bastards played like that each week and when I start getting a few blokes turning up, I think you can say that the Piranha bite will be back”.


Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
Rhinos 6.2.38 2.2.14 3.0.18 0.1.1 11.5.71
Tigers 1.2.8 2.6.18 2.2.14 3.7.25 8.17.65
Goals Rhinos: Ward (6), Ambrosino (2), Worniak, Panek, OBK
Tigers: Meyer (4), Brian Monico (2), Beau, Hayes
Best Rhinos: Ward, Ambrosino, Panek, Morgan J, McClamroch
Tigers: Meyer, Hayes, Ternes, Uhlmann, Palmer

PLAY OF THE DAY (Globe award):
Gordo running into an open goal and missing……. from three yards out.

Jackson Hauls in Piranhas 0

The big Aussie in Mark ‘Jacko’ Jackson shook more than just the departed Burgmanns bed on Friday night, he shook the Piranhas until the life was out of them and also shook the goal kicking ladder as he puts up his hand for MacGlashan medal honors.

Normally a backman of repute, Jacko took a great game of footy and with his 5 goals made it a cake walk for the in form Tigers who are revelling in the post Burgmann style of play adopted by Mustard and Oscar.

In a game where the pesky piranhas nibbled at the highly fancied Tigers all day, Jacksons bag was the difference. Oscar, himself a liker of the odd goal, found himself with three and Cisco nailed a couple for the Piranahs who were without MacGlashan yet again.

The game see sawed throughout but the Tigers, with more run and aggression, ran out 5 goal winners.


Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
Tigers 0.0.0 0.0.0 0.0.0 12.13.85 12.13.85
Piranhas 0.0.0 0.0.0 0.0.0 7.11.53 7.11.53
Goals Tigers: Jackson (5), Meyer (3)
Piranhas: Cisco (2), Beau (2), Ambrosino, Panek, Hayes
Best Tigers: None
Piranhas: None

* If you reckon you kicked a few, we are obviously missing some so email Drakey at to tell him all about how many you kicked and how well you played.

Rhinos Back in Winners Circle 0

The game started with a classic match up where the Rhinos Jacko had the job on the Rhinos McCoombe who was a late move to the dark side of Lincoln Park. Lincoln Park, in the absence of MacGlashan, Roofy, Deri, Haysie et al secured Mustard, Bradice and Oscar to name a few to add a lot of strength. The Rhinos, without several themselves went in with a full Rhino team however and the battlelines were drawn.

In a free flowing first quarter goals were surprisingly hard to come by with both teams using an extra man down back to spring board forward. Drake took a ball out of the centre and hit a wide open OBK who went back and went BANG. The wobbly punt fell short but into the open arms of Rhino dangerman, Scott ‘Osama’ Anderson whose resultant goal was the first and only of the quarter. At the first change, WV led 1.4: 10 to 0.2:2

The second quarter started with Gordo snagging one for the Rhinos, quickly followed by a reply from Dougie Malcolm whose errant hamstring was still intact at this stage. The good run and fierce tackling from both teams was remarkable considering the amount of players. The highlight of the second term was Betty Palmer with a MASSIVE hit on big Wolfey that had the Burgmann Medal favorite seeing stars for a while. McCoombe and Jackson were still having the battle royale but big Scottie finally broke the shackles to score another major for the fighting Piranha. Gordo added a couple of more points to his impressive amount of behinds this season and at the half, Wrigleyville clung to a 2.8: 20 to 2.3: 15 lead.

The premiership quarter promised everything and delivered with Ambrosino taking the game by the scruff of the neck and declaring it his as he put the Rhino on his back and tried to get the fat bastard to the line. McCoombe struck first to even the scores before the little Italian fired up. The Rhinos started to move the ball a bit better and once in the forward line Gordo took over, slamming on two majors to go with his 5 points, electrifying the crowd. The Piranhas saw Betty Palmer go down and then Fenton for the Rhinos got the old ankle tap that didn’t please the big Canadian as he looks forward to a big Canada day full of Molson, Labatts blue and some Moose and possibly French Canadian jerky on July 1st. At the orange break, the Rhinos had increased their lead marginally, 4.10: 34 to 3.4: 22. The Piranhas had to come back and with a pumped up and blood engorged Osacr Meyer, were more than capable.

The Rhinos moved Drake onto McCoombe to let Jacko get a run on the ball and shifted Anderson into the ruck to open the forwardline for Gordo. The Piranhas sent Oscar up forward and Mustard onto the ball with Betty Palmer in an effort to turn the game. They needed to strike first but it was Osama pushing forward and after fumbling in the square, realised he had time and picked up the kangaroo skin and slammed it home for the Rhinos to go up by 3 goals.

McCoombe was the recipient of a lovely Xman pass that he was able to slot through to bring the margin back to two goals. Gordo continued to do as he wanted except for kick straight and his impressive amount of 3 straight points pushed him to 3 goals 7 on the day in a performance that was nothing more than Burgmann-esque.

In the end, the Rhinos outlasted a gallant Piranha outfit that was horribly undermanned and coach kastilahn will be looking for a much improved showing as far as numbers are concerned this Friday night as they try to tame Poncho and his Tigers. Kastilahn however, will be very impressed at the effort his charges put in and the pressure they were able to apply around the ground on the Rhinos who were never able to break away. With MacGlashan back along with many others, it will not surprise this scribe to see the Piranhas jump up and bite the Tigers on the bum. The loss of Roofy though is a huge blow.

The Rhinos were ecstatic with the win and go into the break full of piss and vinegar. The form of Ambrosino and Wolfe is wonderful and the return of Anderson has been a big boost. Couple that with the much improved trio of Fenton, Panek and LeBlanc and the Rhinos aren’t looking as bad as they were this time last week after a melt down against the strong Tiger outfit.


Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
Rhinos 1.4.10 1.4.10 2.2.14 1.3.9 5.13.43
Piranhas 0.2.2 2.1.13 1.1.7 2.1.13 5.5.35
Goals Rhinos: Ambrosino (3), Anderson (2)
Piranhas: McCoombe (2), Malcolm (2), Meyer
Best Rhinos: Ambrosino, Anderson, Wolfe, JJ LeBlanc
Piranhas: Cisco, Kastilan, Thornloe

No Blues for United 0

Chicago United took a giant leap towards recapturing the MAAFL crown and returning it to its rightful place atop Burgmann Towers. Lead by a dominating backline and ruthless midfield, Chicago were able to turn the screws on an undermanned Blues outfit that battled hard all day against huge odds.

In 95 degree heat and 100% humidity, the two teams, playing 14 a side, locked horns once more in battle. St Louis were looking to continue their good form after beating Nashville and wanted a little revenge for the licking they received from Chicago in the windy city last year. Chicago, after a good recruiting off season came down with 18 players fit and ready but without their spiritual leaders in big Wazza Burgmann and the Outback Kid himself, both MIA.

St Louis were able to draw first blood when a Chicago turnover found an unmanned Blue forward in between 3 United players who duly slotted one through to get the game rolling. This was the spark the United boys needed and they dominated much of the first quarter but were unable to capitalise where it mattered most. A top heavy forward line wasn’t getting the delivery they craved and repeated forays forward were turned back by a stubborn Blue defence which was being helped by a classic midwestern downpour that made the ball harder to handle than a heated coat hanger bent into a gamma sign and brutally applied to the upper arm. Pat Hoyt was taken from the backline and asked to give the forward line some spark and within seconds he had slotted through a classic crumbers goal to get the scoreboard clicking.

Chicago was getting some great run from the backline with Jacko, Funky Miller and in particular Betty Palmer all having a case of minor leather poisoning. Pat’s brother Brian was popping up in unusual spots and was getting his share of the footy and he was able to make the most of his chances to kick his sides second. On the other flank, Ehlers and his opponent were having a great dual. The big fella was able to get a step on his opponent and before the siren bring up Chicago’s 3rd sending the United boys into the huddle a couple up on the Blues, 3.4: 22 v 1.2: 8.

The rain continued and turned the game into a tough slog. Betty Palmer was revelling in the conditions and between him and Funky Miller, were tormenting the Blue forwards. Big Roofy started to fire for the United forwards as Jagger and the St Louis boys continued to do a wonderful job of harassing Big Al who was unable to break the shackles at full forward. In a quarter of football that will be remembered by very few people, big Roofy was able to snag his first of the game and St. Louis added another to bring the score at half time to 4.8: 32 to 2.4: 16.

Chicago decided to go smaller at half time by sitting Big Aaron and taking a dominant Mustard out of the backline and putting him in the ruck. The move was initially a stinker as St Louis came out all guns blazing and enjoyed several center clearances that put the United backline under constant and sustained pressure. Betty Palmer, now joined by Deri Morgan repelled many but a mark and goal bought the game closer. After a poor goal line clearance from United, StLouis marked and banged on their second in as many minutes and all of a sudden the game took on a whole new demeanour as Chicago clung to a 4 point lead.

Mustard, Wolfe, Oscar and a fresh legged Billy started to lift in the middle and eventually Chicago was able to rest control of the game away from the Blues and back into their own Oscar Meyer, although not having one of his best games, at least by his lofty standards, managed to find himself with the ball in the forward pocket from where he went back and slotted through goal of the day to lift Chicago spirits. Ensuing goals to Roofy and ‘el presidente’ broke the St Louis shackles and in the presidents case, lost the game ball also as she was drilled into the jungle behind the goals. With the game still on the line, Chicago went into the orange break 22 points up, 7.10: 52 to a tiring StLouis 4.6: 30.

In an effort to spark the forward line, Coach Drake moved himself to full forward and dropped Drewbie back to full back. Tiny came into a pocket as the weather improved to do a bit of physical damage and Big Al went to center half forward for a run. The move proved effective as the coach bagged one of his rare goals and sent Chicago further in front. Chicago started to dominate as the heavy track took a toll on the StLouis boys who didn’t have the luxury of a fresh bench with fresh legs. They did manage to kick their fifth of the game to get Chicago fans looking at their watches but when Roofy goaled, the game was Chicagos and they eventually ran out 30 point victors over a very valiant StLouis outfit.

For Chicago, it was a win they deserved although they felt it could have been by more, particularly before the rain came. The most pleasing thing for the United coaching staff was that it was the American boys that led from the front in this one with Palmer, Miller, the brothers Hoyt, Wolfe, Ehlers and many others having wonderful games. The fact that Gordo got through the game was received with a huge sigh of relief from Burgmann Towers as they look confidently to the next all important game against their old foes in Nashville. With a few issues simmering from the last game these two teams played, look for a bruising affair on the shores of Lake Michigan in early August. For St Louis, they take away a great deal of heart from this game. With Jagger back in the line up their backline was a lot stronger but with no interchange and up against a much more experienced team, it was always going to be a struggle for the boys from Bud town. They played a hard, physical game and will walk away from this with heads up.


Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
St Louis 1.2.8 1.2.8 2.2.14 1.1.7 5.7.37
United 3.4.22 1.4.10 3.2.20 2.3.15 9.13.67
Goals St Louis: None
United: Ward (3), Ehlers (2), Hoyt B, Meyer, Drake, Hoyt P
Best St Louis: None
United: Ward, Ehlers, Hoyt B, Hoyt P, Miller, Palmer, De Jong

Next Round: V’s Nashville in Chicago. Playing host to the Great Aussie BBQ and a huge crowd expected.

Best On Ground: Betty Palmer
Best Off Ground: Betty Palmer
Beast On Ground: Brian Hoyt
Beast On Grog: Betty Palmer/ Biggsy/ Roofy
Presidents highlight: Jezza getting a free room but paying $80 to get to the pub in a cab.