News — rhinos

2013 Metro Rd 8

2013 Metro Rd 8 0


Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
Piranhas 2.3.15 4.6.30 1.5.11 2.3.15 9.17.71
Rhinos 4.2.26 2.1.13 3.2.20 2.2.14 11.7.73
Goals Piranhas: Wilhelm (2), Yunes, St John, Q, Malcolm, Bennett
Rhinos: Porter (4), McKeegan (3), Martin, El Zoghbi, Hoyt B, Wallach
Best Piranhas: Wilhelm, Malcolm
Rhinos: Porter, McKeegan, Martin, Deutz
Injuries Piranhas: None
Rhinos: None

BOG (Blue Jacket): Jason Wilhelm
Oxford Landing Wine: Alistaire/Mckeegan
Golden Goose: Wade Porter

2013 Metro Rd 6

2013 Metro Rd 6 0

G’Day, Ladies and Gentlemen, and welcome back to another addition of Friday Night Footy at the Wavo! The weather is smiling as are the faces of the crowd here on the Lake Front. The fight for the second/third on the ladder is shaping up to be an interesting one. Tonight, the Wrigleyville Rhinos take on the Lincoln Square Tigers in what should be one heck of a match.

With the final sides decided, Umpire Anthony “Razor” Hendrie said, “Let’s get this underway, boys,” and sent a beautiful bounce skyward. As with every ball up on the day, it was immediatly followed by an intense Ruck competition. It was the Battle of Jasons, pitting Jason “Pony-atta-Boy” Wilhelm against first year giant, Jason “Sandilands” Holmes (3 Goals). These two lads were at each other all night and it was a beauty to watch. Holmes is sailing away to train with the Sydney Swans for a month so, “Good onya, mate” and learn everything you can. The opening bounce led directly to a goal through some beautiful work by Tiger’s Vet, Paul “Oscar” Meyer who was active all day on the wing. Garrath “Sneaky” Carragher was lively in the forward line for Lincoln Square, kicking one goal for the night. The Tigers controlled the footy for much of the first quarter seeing them kick 3 goals 2 against a Rhino defense that seemed out of sorts. Will “Well” Hyung went down early with an ankle while Josh “Goose” Stenger tried to lead by example with some extraordinary efforts in the back pocket but unfortunately only aquired the Golden Goose as his prize. After a massive effort by Jayson “Long-Stocking” Schmelzer, the Rhino Defense found its feet. The second half of the first quarter saw Wrigleyville come alive and they ended the quarter with 2 goals 2 making the score at the end of one, the Lincoln Square Tigers leading the Wrigleyville Rhinos 3.2.20 to 2.2.14.

The Rhinos decided to make things very interesting when they opened the 2nd Quarter with a goal. Xavier “Rated X” Burton was like a war torn battleship out there, tossing blokes aside and kicking a beautiful goal off of Half Back, showing that you can never keep a big man down. Tyler “not Hattery” Dorsett was providing some great forward pressure while Aussie recruit Wade “Stewy” Porter was simply exhilarating in the mid field and across half back. His beautiful delivery was inspiring his teammates left and right. There’s only so much one man can do, however, as the defense of the Tigers were like plumbers out there: patching up all the leaks. Tiger Captain, Brian “Red Shorts” Hoyt made life tough for Rhino forwards, Joel “Dammit” Bennett and Mark “Macintosh” Appel who were the victims of bad bounces and a lack of support all evening long. Tiger Eric “Tricky” Conway was stingy in defense, but took a hard knock that hopefully proves to be nothing more than a corked thigh. Finally, Doug “Flash” Malcolm, was able to find space for the Rhinos and kicked a nice goal, 30 out on the run. At the long break, it was the Tigers 7.5.47 to the Rhinos 3.6.24.

The third quarter simply belonged to the reigning Premiers, Lincoln Square. Alex “Yep, I’ve only been playing for a few months” Wallach was on fire, taking a snapshot at goal on the left and starting an onslaught that would last nearly the entire quarter. The Tigers piled on 7.7 in a third period that left the Rhinos a bit punch-drunk. Russ “Not so Rusty after all” Adams had a great game coming off injury and kicked 2 goals for good measure. Al “Tatonka” McGlashan seemed likely to mark anything that came his way and proved too elusive for the Rhino defense, kicking 3 goals for the night. Joining in the fun was Paul “They Really Work” Enzinger who came from nowhere, putting up a bag of 3 as well. Henry “Thank God I don’t have to Ruck” Knoop was outstanding at Center Half Back where he was able to rebound the few oppurtunities that Wrigleyville had. At the end of three, the Tigers had a comfortable lead over the Rhinos who only managed one behind: LIncoln Square 14.14.98 to Wrigleyville 3.7.25.

The Rhinos had little but pride to fight for in the fourth quarter. And this came in droves as Nolan “Torpy” Mckeegan hoisted a magnificent Torpedo through the uprights from 60 out. He, David “Dewy” Fitzgerald and Woody “Brian Lake” did all they could to get on the board by kicking 3 goals between them, but alas it was not to be. The Tigers again, surged as Joe “Parking Ticket” Swierupski roved a pack and found Nolan “Blinded by Puppies” Schmelzer in space which led to the 2nd of 6 fourth quarter goals for Lincoln Square. the final score: the Lincoln Square Tigers 20.19.139 to the Wrigleyville Rhinos 6.6.45.

It was an absolute thrashing by the Tigers, but the Rhinos can hold their heads high. Anything, it seems, can happen this season. One thing is for sure, the Chicago Australian Football Association has a lot to look forward to in the coming years. The youngsters are making a difference and the future looks bright heading into a big away game in the coming weeks against the Division II Premiers, the Minnesota Freeze. This is a great rivalry and should prove to be an exciting contest.


Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
Rhinos 2.2.14 1.4.10 0.1.1 3.2.20 6.9.45
Tigers 3.2.20 4.5.29 7.7.49 6.5.41 20.19.139
Goals Rhinos: Fitzgerald (2), McKeegan (2), Malcolm, Burton
Tigers: Wallach (4), Enzinger (3), Holmes (3), MacGlashan (3), Adams (2), Jimenez (2), McGettigan (2), Carragher
Best Rhinos: Burton, Porter
Tigers: Wallach, Holmes, MacGlashan, McGettigan
Injuries Rhinos: Huynh (Ankle)
Tigers: None

BOG (Blue Jacket): Alex Wallach
Oxford Landing Wine: Jason “PonyBoy” Wilhelm / Pedro Jiminez
Golden Goose: Josh Stenger (for taking the kick out from outside the goal square)

2013 Metro Rd 5

2013 Metro Rd 5 0


Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
Piranhas 3.3.21 4.0.24 1.3.9 3.2.20 11.8.74
Rhinos 1.1.7 3.5.23 2.1.13 1.4.10 7.11.53
Goals Piranhas: Carragher (4), Schmelzer N (3), Daudelin, Wilhelm, Jimenez, Hermann
Rhinos: Burton (2), Porter (2), Meyer, Wallach, Zukowski
Best Piranhas: Carragher, Schmelzer N, Hermann, Schmelzer J, Swierupski
Rhinos: Porter, Wallach, Zukowski, Deehan, Deutz, MacGlashan
Injuries Piranhas: None
Rhinos: None

Blue Jacket (BOG): Tim Hermann
Oxford Landing Wine: Not Awarded
Golden Goose: Anthony Hendrie

2013 Metro Rd 2

2013 Metro Rd 2 0

Welcome back to Friday Night Footy at the Wavo! Tonight’s match saw the Wrigleyville Rhinos’ first match of the new season. Their targets were the Lincoln Park Piranhas who are coming off of a solid victory against the Tigers. 1600 people braved the conditions, ate their Meat Pies and enjoyed a great night of Football.

For two weeks in a row, the weather had turned from beautiful in the beginning of the week to a cold and wet weekend making for a slippery game of Footy. By the time Umpire Anthony “Razor” Hendrie got the center bounce all sorted, the rain had stopped. The first quarter was nearly a dead heat and saw some sloppy skills, but solid effort. Newcomer, Mark “Hightower” Appel released Ryan “Dodsy” Daudelin with a beautiful handball resulting in the first goal of the night to the Piranhas. Another first quarter standout was Rhino Alex “Neck Muscle” Wallach who continues to impress in his his rookie season. Right alongside him was fellow Rhino and reigning Metro MVP, Nolan “No-No” Schmelzer looking the task of defending his crown by slotting two goals. Adrian “Rocky” Deehan was quiet on the evening, but always seemed to find space and if the Rhinos can get him involved more, he’ll be a danger through the midfield. Though the teams were even in effort, the Pianhas kicked straighter resulting in a slight lead at the end of one. Wrigleyville: 2.1.13 to Lincoln Park: 3.0.18.

The second quarter saw the Piranhas turn up the heat a bit. Jason “Small Horse” Wilhelm was again dominant in the Ruck and supplied a beautiful kick to Keith “I’m Still Sad About Revis” Campion who kicked a beauty from the boundary for a major score early in the quarter. Unfortunately on the same play, Rhino Backman Russ “Rustoleum” Adams went down with a sore hamstring and left the game. Wrigleyville activated their sub and Drew “Wolfman” Wolfe came into the game and evened the match in the Ruck contests. Mike “Disco at the” Panek moved into the back line and added some much needed grit. Franky “Lanky” Bradley was good down back for the Piranhas and he shared the ball well with Dan “Not the Goose” Kahstilahn and Matt “Reidie” Reid who were both tough around the contest. Joey “Wiley” Kiley was outstanding amassing plenty of possessions and providing good run. He and Quinten “Q” MacMillan lead the field in the possession and really got Lincoln Park moving. At the end of two it was Wrigleyville 3.1.19 to Lincoln Park 5.1.31.

After the long break and a heavy spray from their Captain, the Rhinos put the pedal to metal. Al “Hinges” MacGlashan took a screamer from three deep and played on, allowing Eddie “size 10s” to kick a beautiful goal from 55 out. Pedro Jimenez looked solid and provided inside 50 after inside 50. Paul “Hot Dog Company” Meyer kicked one of the most beautiful behinds you’ll ever see and Nolan “Irish” McKeegan showed off his silky skills kicking three goals for the game. William “Well” Hyung looked up and about providing plenty of run, connecting with Josh “Tank” Stenger who spent last season sidelined with a knee injury. It wasn’t all Rhino’s though. Brandon “Fresh Airy” Harper looked fit while Tim “Goalsneak” Hermann also looked good. The Piranha’s third quarter, however could be summed up by Joel “the Goose” Bennett who took a beautiful mark in the goal square but prematurely played on, resulting in a holding the ball penalty. Going into the final quarter, the Rhinos lead the Fish 5.7.37 to 5.1.31

The fourth quarter was an entertaining one. The goal kicking started off with the Big Fella, Xavier “X” Burton launching one through the sticks from 30 out pushing the Rhinos further ahead. Betty Palmer was a stalwart in defense and provided some intense pressure on the Piranhas forwards. Jayson “Pep” Schmelzer never tired and collected a ton of the footy. Dougie “Eagle Eye” Malcolm took one high early in the quarter which enraged fellow Piranha Tyler “Minutes” Dorsett who took his aggression out on Rhino Eric “EZ” Zukowski. Zukowski was met solidly by Dorsett and took a little while to get back to his feet. At the final siren, it was the Piranha’s woes in front of goal that decided the outcome with the Rhinos coming out on top 7.7.49 to the Piranha’s 6.5.41.

On a side note, this game had some of the most beautiful boundary throw-ins seen in this hemisphere by an unknown Boundary Umpire who left before we could interview him. If anyone has any information, please let your administrator know.


Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
Piranhas 3.0.18 2.1.13 0.0.0 1.4.10 6.5.41
Rhinos 2.1.13 1.0.6 2.6.18 2.0.12 7.7.49
Goals Piranhas: Daudelin (2), Hermann (2), Bennett, Campion
Rhinos: McKeegan (3), Schmelzer N (2), Eddie, Burton
Best Piranhas: Campion, Kiley, Q
Rhinos: McKeegan, Jimenez, MacGlashan, Palmer, Wallach
Injuries Piranhas: None
Rhinos: Adams (Hammy)

Blue Jacket: Al MacGlashan
OLE Wine: Alex Wallach
Goose: Joel Bennett

2012 Metro Rd 4 0


Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
Rhinos 3.6.24 0.6.6 2.1.13 2.5.17 7.18.60
Piranhas 3.0.18 2.2.14 4.3.27 4.1.25 13.6.84
Goals Rhinos: Schmelzer N (3), Hayes, Fitzgerald, Burton
Piranhas: Edwards (3), Uhlmann (2), Schmelzer J (2), Panek (2), Adams (2), Malcolm, Dorsett
Best Rhinos: None
Piranhas: None

2012 Metro Rd 3 0


Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
Tigers 4.2.26 6.2.38 4.5.29 3.4.22 17.13.115
Rhinos 0.2.2 1.1.7 1.2.8 2.2.14 4.7.31
Goals Tigers: Meyer (5), MacGlashan (4), Brennan (3), Schmelzer N, Jimenez, Adams, Swierupski
Rhinos: Edwards (2), Dorsett, McKeegan
Best Tigers: None
Rhinos: None