News — rhinos

CHICAGO, IL- Burgmann Field was full to capacity with a huge crowd on hand to welcome football back to Chicagos’ beautful Lake Michigan shoreline with a cracker of a game that had everything from a bit of biffo (who didn’t love seeing Grisoni lay out Betty Palmer?) to numerous lead changes in a heart stopping last quarter.

The game started with a great showing from the Tigers and yeat another disappointing one by the Rhinos who required the services of some Pee rah nas to enable a game of 16 a side to go on. Thankfully for the Rhinos though, they did get the 12 required to miss point deductions, much to the chagrin of big Mustard who was rueing his new rule brought out mid week.

The weather was a balmy 70 odd with a good 70 odd knot wind blowing across the ground with any advantage going to the Tigers who kicked to the northern end in the first stanza. From the bounce, it was obvious this was going to be an arm wrestle as both defences were on top as sides struggled to move the ball effectively in the conditions. Rhinos went with Kansas Hattery on the dangerous Burgmann who was looking resplendant in his “sexy capri pants and manicured toes”, while Drake was shadowed by Poncho up front for the Rhinestone cowboys.

The Tigers looked the goods out of the blocks as repeated forays forward looked dangerous but the extra man in ‘D’ for the Rhinos subdued any problems. Brennan was on fire early and the run of Poncho and Crabs out of the backline gave Burgmann, Meyer and the forwards plenty of opportunity, all to no avail however. Braddis was looking good and proved to be a handful for Disco Panek all day as the seemingly 30 lb lighter version of the 08 Braddis was running around like an acne scarred teenager with some high powered binoculars at a nudist colony.

It wasn’t long before the reason all the ladies turned up got hold of the ball but much to the assembled ladies dismay, Hoyts shot flew wide. A rejuvenated Biggs took a nice grab on a long lead in front of new Rhino Tyler Dorsett but he also shot wide. The Rhinos moved the ball down the ground through first gamer Clarke, top recruit and rugby convert Adrian Deeham and perennial legend Drew Wolfe and found new manager Jezza Morgan whose bomb into the far reaches of the forward line bounced into the waiting arms of Drake who, showing a bit more agility than anyone, particularly himself expected, went left, then right then back to the left in front of Poncho. Utterly confused and rueing his decision to go onto the left, he banged it on the foot anyway, just as a huge gust of wind came through, tilting the goal post and enabling his snap to sail through, breaking the strangehold the Tigers had had on the game thus far.

From the center bounce, the Tigers went back into attack and after dropped mark number 8 by Wazza, Braddis showed him how it was done with a lovely mark and goal to send the favorites into the first break 1.2: 8 to 1.0:6 up. The Tiger guns were firing with Burgmann, Poncho, Uhlmann and especially Oscar getting plenty of it, a worrying sign for the Rhinos who were being kept in it by first gamers Glenn Clarke, Jack Thompson and the hard running Jeff Borchardt.

Against a probable 2 goal breeze, the Tigers continued to dominate with Meyer becoming a particular pain in the arse for the Rhino hierachy as he seemingly had the ball on a string. He found Braddis early and the svelte big man popped through numero dos as the Rhino backs showed some tired legs. Drake went into the ruck and Wolfe to full forward as the Rhinos searched for their next goal. The move paid dividends as momentum shifted late in the first half.

Biggsy missed again and Braddis was unlucky as his third missed by centimeters then the Rhinos struck. Jack Thompson, the nephew of Swan legend Basher took the game on his shoulders as he continually presented up front. His first went wide but then picking the crumbs from a Wolfe lead, the big man sat back and nailed his first ever goal from 30 out on a tight angle. Wolfe was proving a handful for Gaelic import Rahilly and the Rhinos seemed to be getting on top as the siren blew. At the half, the Tigers went in 3.4: 16 to 2.3: 15 up with the game very much in the balance.

The second half was a doozy as the center lines for both teams took over. For the Tigers, Uhlmann, Meyer and Crabs were terrific but the Rhino backs in first gamers Forte, Hattery, Dorsett, Deeham and BOG Clarke were running hot. Poncho, Rahilly and big Pace kept the Rhino forwards at bay and the game became a war of attrition. Braddis, who was giving Disco Panek plenty to think about was able to break through for his third of the game but Jeremy Morgan, busy up front, was able to pull the Rhinos back after a deft handball from his coach let him dribble, literally, a ball through from 20 out. As they say in golfing circles Jezza, it’s how many, not how.

Brennan then struck for the Tigers as the lead changed again and again. Hattery continued to frustrate Burgmann while Hoyt was shifted into the backline to see if he could get that elusive second touch of the game. With the 2 main Tiger forwards being shut down, Braddis continued to resist but his snap was touched through for a point. From the kick out, the Rhinos, through Clarke, Morgan and Forte moved solidly on the top wing and Fortes bomb forward found Drake whose grab in heavy traffic was rewarded with a fine goal from 40 out. At the orange break she was anyones game with the Tigers still leading 4.7: 31 to 4.3: 27.

Drake, smelling an upset, through Forte and Clarke into the middle and Wolfe back into the ruck with Deeham back in the guts as well with the aim of stopping a red hot Crackers Brennan. The move paid off for the Rhino coach as Wolfes tap from the Big Al bounce found Forte who went bang from the center of the ground and the ball, bouncing in front of a leading Aussie Mike, evaded both him and his defender and mercifully for the Rhinos went through the big sticks to put the Rhino in front. Next up and the Rhinos attacked again with Morgan missing one he should’ve kicked before big Aussie Mike Allen said thanks very much and kicked truly to bring up his first to put the first nail in the Tiger coffin. Seconds later he had another chance but a sensational diving effort from Grisoni enabled him to get a hand on a certain 6 points, keeping the Tige’s in it.

With the pressure on, the Tigers, through Meyer, Crabs, Brennan and Mark Warren kept attacking until a Rhino defensive break down saw Uhlmann mark 30 out dead in front. His shot missed and the Rhinos were able to suffocate the game as Jack Thompson, Glenn Clarke and Jeffery Borchardt each stepped up again for important plays enabling the Rhino to gore its way to a momentous victory 6.5: 41 to 4.8: 32

Burgmann Fields, IL – The Wrigleyville Rhinos were finally able to show the form that has elluded them for the majority of the season, romping to a great win in the final home and away game of the Metro season. Led by several first year players in John Scher, Vince, Fitz, Mike and the ageless Disco Panek, the Rhinos were to strong for the Piranhas who now look at the ominous sight of a fierce Tiger team in the upcoming Grand Final on September 20.

The Rhinos got off to a flyer in the first. Cedeing 9 points for lack of players again, the Rhino midfield came alive with Tiger recruits Crackers Brennan, Vince and Fitz very active and coach Miller having a ripper of a game. an injured Morgan sat at full forward while John Scher had the ball on a string in the middle. Drake was able to open up proceedings with a mark and goal after being left alone by big Al MacGlashan. Drakes second came minutes later after a great handball from Wolfe on the boundary let him run to 35 and go BANG to set the cat amongst the pigeons. Seconds later, Fitz’s hard running was rewarded with a bomb from about 50 that sent the Rhinos into the first break 3.2: 20 to 0.1: 1 up with an angry MacGlashan screaming at his charges and denying them the basic necessity of water.

The Piranhas hit back hard and were able to control the second quarter but weren’t able to convert where it mattered most as a staunch Rhino ‘D’ led by Fitz, Mike, Adam and Disco kept them at bay. Isadore was starting to exert his influence on the game along with Haysie, Dougie Fresh and the ever dangerous Dave Allen but it was left to Didak to kick the Piranhas first after he finally got some room to move and with a classic crumbers goal started the Piranhas engine. The Koi continued to dominate and a monster snap from Haysie on the run was missed by both his adoring wife (who was checking out the bottom of a miller lite at the time…. looking for Dave Worniak apparently!) and umpire Biggs who was doing a slendid job, ably aided by many a suggestion from Big Al, who signalled a point. While Drake and Hoyt (if he was there he would’ve) laughed at Hayse, the Rhinos were able to run out the quarter and go into the long break 3.3: 21 up to 1.3:9.

While the second quarter was, as described by Mustard, the worst quarter of football this season with calamity after calamity, the second half was sensational as the two teams squared off and started running magnificently. The Piranhas came out firing with big Roofy coming into the game and having an instant effect as his midfielders finally had a viable option up forward. He marked on a tight angle but duly went back and slotted it home and all of a sudden the Piranhas were only a kick down. The midfielders for both teams were running riot as the dangerous Allen, Hayse, Morgan D, Palmer and Fresh countered every Rhino move but as the game see sawed, the Rhinos were able to get a late, telling goal through Funky Miller who had hobbled his way down to full forward after rolling the ankle. At the orange break, the Rhinos led 4.5: 29 to 2.3: 15.
Roofy continued to be a pain in the Rhinos arse as his big frame stood tall and took an early mark which he converted into 6 points and again the Goldfish were surging. Some great individual efforts by Scher and Wolfe kept the ball going forward for the Rhinos and when Joltin’ Joe goaled, momentum started to swing again. All of a suddent, the Rhinos were full of piss and vinegar as Poncho came on to seal the backline. Goals started raining at Burgmann Fields as Joe popped in 2 more to claim 3 for the afternoon, Vince got amongst the action with a cracker of a goal where he started at the wing, took a bounce and handballed to Drake who handballed back setting him up to run into an open goal and slot home a ripper from 40 out. Drake was able to sneak in his third for the afternoon and although Didak got a late one, the Rhino had already bolted and despite the 9 point penalty, they ran out comfortable winners.

Burgmann Fields, IL – And so it was and so it shall be. The Tigers have barnstormed their way into the Metro Grand Final with a solid win over a struggling Rhinos team that gave absolutely everything but in the end, to no avail. The Rhinos were undermanned again but gallant in defeat as the Tigers recruiting staff wheeled out another couple of future champions in B.O.G Fitzy and runner up B.O.G Vince, both of who put the Rhinos to the sword with the help of Fish, Crackers Brennan and stalwart Poncho who was unstoppable again in defence.

The game started with 10 a side and moved to 11’s when the dangerous Drew Wolfe appeared for the Rhinestone Cowboys. Extremely well umpired (Biggsy could only be heard once for the whole game giving advice) by Ryan Hayes (sadly, Katie was more interested in the ice cold 312’s on the sideline and missed his great performance), the game started with Drake marking nicely about 40 out on a slight angle between the two big ‘P’ men in Pace and Poncho and slotting home his first for the day. The Rhinos continued to attack the ball with great work rate from stalwarts Jezza and Funky and when Drake gathered 30 out on the boundary he looked to send the Rhinos further in front but an ‘illadvised’ handball to the kid alone in the square was fumbled and Poncho was able to recover (after 8 more Rhino fumbles!) and set Bad Boy Billy alight on the wing. His ensuing goal on the trot was a classic and gave the Tigers a 3 point lead at the first change, 1.4: 10 to 1.1: 7.

Rumours abounded about a return of Big Guns in Burgmann for the Tige’s and McCoombe for the Rhinos but after the club wasted $1500 on a marching band and cheerleaders (not to mention the 3 Philipino strippers) to welcome them back, rumours were all they turned out to be so the two teams continued to slog it out with both missing several top line players.

The tigers gained the ascendancy in the second with Fitz having a field day off the half back flank. His play was spectacular and only spoiled by a couple of bad shots on goal which would have put this game to bed at the half. Poncho was magnificent and Brennan and Fish were having field days on the ball. Art, Frenchie and Vince were getting tonnes of it and the Rhinos looked stuffed as they chased Tiger tails all over the park. Up forward, danger men Biggs and Hoyt were being well held by Mr Reliable in Disco Panek, first gamer Adam who was having a ripper of a game and Mike who were keeping the Rhinos in it. Hoyt finally broke through for his first with a soccer off the ground and then successive goals to Crackers and Fish further frustrated Miller and his Rhinos who were unable to worry the scorers except for two behinds. At the half, a beaming Mustard welcomed his Tigers 4.7: 31 to WV 1.3: 9

Miller appealed for much more from his Rhinos at the half and with a renewed and sobered John Scher were able to reply in kind. Scher and Tyrekos were able to get more of the footy and support Morgan and Funk who were giving everything along with a rejuvenated Wolfe. A bomb from Tyrekos was marked in a pack by Drake who got a classic case of the Burgmanns and from 35 out (ok, 5) missed a sitter to the delight of Poncho. His next chance came seconds later when he swooped on a ball 30 out and running toward the boundary snapped a ripper on the left foot and went into wild celebrations. His jumper off, arms in the air and victory lap were spoiled though by umpire Hayse who thought he’d have a laugh at the coach and get himself a position on the bench in Milwaukee by giving the one finger slaute and giving it a point, once again to the delight of Poncho.

The Rhinos kept attacking though and a minute later, some good work down back by Adam again found Miller who’s deft pass found Drake on a lead and finally the ball went through the two big ones and the Rhinos were coming home with a wet sail. At the orange break, LS hung on 3.8: 32 to WV 2. 6: 18 and the last quarter was going to be a ripper as the Rhinos looked to keep their finals hopes alive and the Tigers looked to play spoiler.

The Rhinos were again first out of the blocks but Drake was being well held by Pace and an unmanned Poncho kept the Rhinos at bay until Wolfe burst through the middle and found Drake on a lead, 40 out and on a slight angle. He slotted home the quarters first and the Rhinos were all of a sudden one kick down. Tyrekos was gettin gplenty of the ball and when a bomb into the open Rhino forward line found the Kid by himself all hell was cutting loose on the Tiger bench as the Kid marked and played on into an open goal and went “BANG” to even the scores with 5 minutes of classic footy to go.

It was classic football as both teams threw everything they had at the ball. Fitz and Vince continued to defy the Rhinos midfielders and Uhlmann finally started to come alive as the Tigers swung momentum their way and if not for some poor kicking at goal, could have sewn the game up but as it was, Morgan was able to run out of the backline and find Miller who went further afield to Drake who copped a nice one around the chops from Pace. As Poncho argued the call with MacGlashan, Drake was able to play on and have a bounce (first in 15 years just quietly) and run into an open goal and put the Rhinos in front for the first time since his first kick in the first quarter. The Rhino crowd was abuzz as Katie popped her 5th 312 on the sideline and Haysie realised tonight was his turn to drive the new Chevy Aveo home. Mustard was throwing moves left, right and center as the Tigers tried to come back against a determined Rhino outfit that ceded 3 points for lack of numbers and had had the better of the Tiger forwards and with minutes to go, it was still anyones game.

The Tigers through Brennan and Fish were able to continue to dominate the middle after Wolfe copped one high and went to la la land. The Tigers attacked and low and behold, the spoiler in Pat’s brother Brian pops up with a big grab in front of Mike. His ensuing shot was called wide by Hayse (possibly after having one of katies 312’s?) who made up for the earlier indiscretion against the Rhinos but it still evened the scores and made the last two minutes a literal free for all. The Rhinos tried in vain but couldn’t get the ball forward and the Tige’s were starting to run over them as they found the mercurial Hoyt who went back and went BANG to put the Tigers a goal up. After that, the tigers ran out the final seconds to condemn the Rhinos to a futile season and a winter of soul searching. The Tigers, buoyed by a big second quarter were too strong and the Metro GF looks to be a classic as they will welcome back Oscar, Tommy Gun and a sleu of others including, possibly, Warrick Burgmann. For the Rhinos, a look at their list suggests a very good team but too few carried too many and changes will have to be made. Pick ups in Mike, Mike Tyreko, John Scher, Adam and the great form of Disco Panek were soured by the loss of playmakers Plant, Johnson, Ambrosino, McCoombe, Leblanc and the disappearance of Rhino legend McClamroch. Some soul searching ahead at Miller towers but with first pick in next years draft, expect big things from the Rhinos (especially if another Dangerous Dave Allen pops up).

The Tigers are the real deal though and fully deserved their win. Fitz put a smile on the United selectors dials and Vince was outstanding. Poncho gave them plenty and when the game was on the line, veterans in Uhlmann and Hoyt were able to stand up and be counted. Good games out of Ortiz, Frenchie, Biggs and Fish helped and they eventually ran out winners 5. 10: 40 (+ 3 points bonus = 43) to 5. 7: 37.

Burgmann Fields, IL- They’re baaaaaack! Lead by B.O.G Gordon Ambrosino and with huge games from stalwarts Plant, Wolfe and Miller, the Wrigleyville Rhinos sounded an alarm to the rest of the competition that they would not be denied what is rightfully there’s in an 83 point demolition of the hapless Tigers on Friday night.

The Rhinos went into the game minus Ash Johnson, Matt Henzel and Toddy McClamroch but regained strongman Drew Wolfe (lazy) and the speed and tenacity of Ambrosino (brain). The depleted Tigers, still reeling from the losses of Biggs (fatherhood), DeJong (knees) and inspirational and legendary leader Burgmann (constantly drunk) also lost the enigmatic Hoyt (probably drunk) and Frank Bradley (definitely drunk). Gun midfielder Tommy gun was mounting some chick called rainier or it may have been climbing Mt Rainier, not sure as my info on that is a bit scratchy but as he is a Tiger, let’s assume he was doing it drunk shall we and get on with the footy. Their final insult was the loss of marksman Oscar Meyer but no one knows what happened to him but we assume the worst and hope the soap wasn’t to slippery and could be ‘picked up’ quickly and without incident.

From the bounce, a pumped up Rhino outfit who until now remained in the cellar with no wins from a lot of attempts and with lots of questions being raised around Wrigleyville such as “oooooo, I love that cutey Wolfe, wonder when he’ll come out of the closet?” and “oh darling, you just must see Jeremy clean shaven, he’s to die for. I wonder when that tra&p Marci will smell the tighty whiteys and let me at him grrrr darling” needed a big win.

As the ball hit the deck the first time, Miller burst through the center square and delivered a ripper pass to Drake who duly went back and nailed his first of the day playing at full forward. Big Spider followed suit kicking two lovely goals from distance and when John Scher kicked a pearla from a free kick for a push in the back 25m out and on a tight angle, the Rhinos were looking the best they had since their McNaughton hallcyion days of 2006. At the first break, WV led 4.1: 25 to the Tigers who hadn’t bothered the scorers thus far.

Miller didn’t want a repeat of the debacle against the Piranhas and kept pushing his charges on as Mustard searched for answers amongst the hugely inexperienced Tigers (5 first gamers brought down mainly by Crackers, great effort indeed). The height of Drake and Spider was troubling as Betty Palmer, despite giving away inches to both of them (in more places than one may I add!), tried his heart out down back without much support. The Rhinos had Crackers tagged by Beau Rodgers who was doing a great job and Hayse and Uhlmann were being well held also enabling the Rhinos to control the ball through Scher and Wolfe in the middle and the backline was on fire with Miller, Morgan, Kastilahn and a soberish Worniak having free reign and getting great run. A very interesting battle was forming between the recently returned Tiger tough man Bradice and renaissance man for WV in Panek with the latter getting the votes thus far.

The second quarter saw the tigers start to get things moving with Uhlmann in particular getting far more of it but despite many forward thrusts, they were unable to break the Mike Panek led embargo going on on the last line of defense. The Rhinos were able to turn defense into attack and when Dave Worniak found Drake 30 out on the boundary things looked tough as he played on and goaled to send the Rhinos further in front. Big Spider, after some great play from Miller and co down back found Drake on a long lead and his third made the Tigers look out of it in the shadow of half time. Beau Rodgers was able to sneak one through as the traffic all started to head towards Wrigleyville. The Tigers finally got on the board when Bradice was able to break through the suffocating Panek and goal just before the half to send the tigers in, down by 35 points, 7.2: 44 (nice change from last time) to 1.3: 9.

After the half it became the Gordon Ambrosino show as his blistering pace became to much for the inexperienced Tiger boys to control. He was able to kick two for the quarter, the second of which was a classic crumbers goal ala Kevin Barlett as he read the ball off the hands of Spider and at full tilt kicked truly from 40 out. Big Spider was also getting amongst the goals and he kicked his third from a strong grab. The tigers continued to battle hard as big Andrew in the ruck showed a lot of promise as did Martin around the packs and vince tried his best to come to terms with a 7 ft spider and a brand new game. The Tigers were able to pepper the goals but the pressure from Wrigley was splendid and old hands Hayse, Sebastian and Crackers were unable to kick truly. At the end of the third, WV held a commanding 10.3: 63 to 1.7: 13 lead and looked to rub further salt into the Tiger wounds.

The final stanza started with Ambrosino kicking his third after Rodgers, who was having the better of Crackers by this time, found him on the flank and he was able to play on quickly and go bang from 30 out. Next in line was Drake who was able to wrap young Vince up in a tackle that was rewarded by umpire Tony (who did a wonderful job just quietly) and he slotted through number 4 for the afternoon and all of a sudden it was raining goals as Mustard looked on helplessly. But the Rhinos, beaten mercilessly often by the tigers, found the opportunity to give some back irresistable and Beau Rodgers, playing one of his best games of the season kicked a great goal on the run to put the stampeding Rhinos further in front. The final goal summed up the Rhinos day magnificently. Miller from the backline popped it over to a hard running Scher who found Wolfe who took a bounce and found Drake on the lead. Wolfe kept running, his opponent didn’t and that enabled Hecta to pop the old Sherrin over the top to Wolfey who unselfishly handballed over Betty Palmers head to an anxious OBK who sauntered into goal, dropped the footy, picked it up again, ran the wrong way and then slipped as he kicked it and the ball did a Shane Warne wrong un’ and somehow went through the two big sticks setting off wild celebrations from the Kid not seen in years. From the north end of the stadium, he has run around the tennis courts made famous by Mischa and Jacko, taken the jumper off to reveal the removalists brace thing he wears as he waves the famous powder blue above his head so vigorously that he actually leaves the ground at one point. He then high fives the 20 strong crowd, steals Haysies beers and then high fives every car heading north on LSD. He climbs a goal post after giving the fiance a massive snog and a slap on the arse and then after a ceremonial jump in the lake goes to his knees and points to the sky like the big Z! Realising a goal of this magnitude could not be made possible by just one god, he then faces north and pulls out a carpet and bows the head towards mecca. Sitting back cross legged, he pours gold paint on himself and rubs his guts in tribute to Buddha and the last time he was seen, he was knitting a tallis, trying to grow a full beard and ringlets and was learning hebrew! We all left however, when he pulled out the # 25 jumper along with 25 candles and 25 VB’s and a photo of Warrick Burgmann and started rubbing his nipples.

Burgmann fields, Chicago IL- For some it was a sad day, for others it was wonderful to see how our great game continues to evolve in our great city as Wrigleyville, led by the once dominant and unstoppable force of Mark Jackson bowed before the new tyrant, the dangerous Dave Allen and his Piranhas. For those present, there is not much argument that if the dangerous Allen didn’t show up, the Rhinos win this game by 10 goals. Even with him the Rhinos should have won but as they say in the classics, “bad kicking is bad football” and Funky will be a distraught soul after his Rhinos continued to defy logic and lost another heart breaker last friday.

The game started with a stacked Rhino team applying all the pressure. Jackson was back from South America and gun recruit Spider Plant was back in the famous powder blue. The Rhinos attacked with gusto but kicking for goal was atrocious and when Spider finally got one on line, that was stopped by the Kid who smelled and easy one but dropped the grab and watched horrified as it trickled over the line.
At the other end, a very bored MacGlashan and Drake squared up on each other with new Rhino gun John Scher taking Monico on in the pocket. While Al and Scher were having a smoke around the tennis courts, the ball finally came down and low and behold, a tinny bounce lands straight into the arms of Monico who is 20 yards behind the play doing his hair and he kicks truly to totally piss off everyone there, except his adoring sister of course.

The play continues to be dominated by the Rhinos but fat lot of good it did them as on the next Piranha foray forward 10 minutes later, Monico marks and after looking for MacGlashan and not finding him (he was teaching Drake how to change dirty diapers behind the goals by this time), sprays a shot off his boot and finds his big, goofy brother in law standing there picking his nose and the ball miraculously lands in his hands and he kicks the Piranhas second of the quarter to totally humiliate the Rhino forwards. At the first break, LP 2.1: 13 led WV 0.5: 5 (not a typo)

The second quarter mirrored the first as Wrigleyville, in complete control of the game, continued to assume that the ever dangerous Dave Allen was in fact a goal post and constantly aim their kicks at him in the hopes the bastard would get a nasty bout of leather poisoning and piss off! But alas it was not to be and the Piranha dangerman raked in a good 345 possessions for the quarter, all on the last bloody line of defence. In the middle for Wrigleyville, Ash Johnson was getting plenty of it and the 2 soccer boys in Crackers Brennan and Tommy gun were on fire and it was Crackers who finally slotted one through for the Rhinos. The two times it went down the other end the Piranhas scored majors with Dan Thunder Thompson soccering one through and Billy popping up for a nice goal as well as the search for MacGlashan and Drake continued. At the half, the Piranhas led WV 4.5: 29 to 1.7: 13 (still, not a typo)

A pissed off Funky Miller threw Drake down to full forward after he and Al got back from the game of tennis they were having. MacGlashan went into the center (or wherever he wanted pretty much) and the Piranhas tried to turn the screws as the Rhinos tried to claw their way back into contention. Drake got the first of the quarter with a lovely handball from Crackers leaving BJ stuck in no mans land. The Rhinos continued to attack and were rewarded with a lovely goal to Tommy gun who is showing that he could be an important player for many a year for the United team. When Drake marked over the top of Gambaro and kicked the Rhinos third for the quarter, worrying sounds started to eminate from the bowels of Al MacGlashan (those who have shared a room with him on trips will know this sound). But his impending kidney stone was put on hold for a bit as Thunder banged home his second to give the Piranhas some breathing space. At the orange break, LP led 5.7: 37 to WV 4.10: 34 (seriously, 4.10!) and a classic last quarter was on the cards.

The Rhinos until now had certainly had the better of the Piranhas and had run hard all day but after throwing everything they had at them at the start of the final term, the Piranhas saw out the storm and then started banging on goals as a desperate Rhino team struggled to hold on. The danger man for LP, Dave Allen kicked his first to send the Piranhas further in front but his second, a classic snap on the left foot across the body (from a guy whose kicking style Burgmann earlier referred to as “a drunken horse trying kicking an octopus underwater while evading a shark”) was the poachers bullet to the Rhino heart and despite the amazing efforts of Panek (on Roofy), Scher (on half their team), Brennan and Funky Miller, the mighty Piranhas continued their march to September glory, even without the services of LP guns Kastilahn, Deri Morgan, Palmer and le presidente.