News — rhinos

Burgmann Towers, IL- In a winner takes all contest this saturday on the lakefront, the upstart Rhinos take on the sheer power that is the LS Tigers in a battle that some pundits have already dubbed “the game of the century”. With undertones of hatred between the two teams this is a battle of mate versus mate, coach versus assistant coach, president versus treasurer and good (Rhinos) versus evil (tigers). Everyone should get down to Waveland for this game which should be an absolute cracker.

The Tigers go into this outright favorites after a sensational second half of the year. Vegas bookmakers have seen feverish betting since Burgmann returned on saturday and they are now at 5/4 in the red. Punters like DeJong’s move of resting himself over the weekend and are showing no concern with regards to Ponchos shoulder or the Burgmann finger. Tommy Gunn is another injury concern for the Tiger hierachy. His run and pop is an integral part of this outfit and it will be him, along with Brennan and the flying peanut (if he can be found) that will look to stem the influence of first year Rhino onballers Deehan, Blundell and the very impressive Herrmann. The Tige’s will be expecting huge games from stalwarts Poncho, who will get the job on Drake, DeJong, Meyer and Braddis and these guys will be backed up with a whose who of United football including the brothers Dhoory, Fitzgerald, an out of form Hoyt, Trimberger and the effervesant Frenchy. Infact, a quick look through the Tiger list and I think I may do a Pete Rose and throw a few dollars on the Tigers myself. They have a huge height advantage and runners that are quick of foot to boot. Their one weakness has been kicking goals but Burgmann can kick 10 in the blink of an eye and Oscar Meyer will be especially please with the return of the big man as he looks to crumb off both him and Braddis.

The Rhinos are a gutsy team, there’s no two ways about it. They are by no means star studded like the Tigers, nor as flamboyant as the Piranhas but their last up win against L.P was nothing short of amazing and they will look to recapture that form again to pull out an unlikely victory on the biggest stage of all. Already behind the 8 ball with the loss of 2 big name players, betting on the Rhino has drifted from 4/1 out to 8/1, an effect of the Burgmann inclusion which bookmakers have dubbed “the Katandra tsunami” for its effect on both odds and world markets. The ace up the Rhino sleeve could be the perennially drunk Rocky Deehan who leads a merry band of midfielders that have shown some amzing improvement this season. Herrmann has champion written all over him, Wolfe is starting to run into some pre nationals form and Blundell, when sober, has the skill to take it up to both Brennan and Dhoory. Look also for Borchardt to have a good game. Ambrosino has been in rare form lately and is the forward the Rhinos will look to to bag a few 6 pointers for them. The Rhino backs look strong too. Led by Disco Panek and featuring the rock of Rodgers in Johnny Scher and the human muscle in Glenn Clarke (he better be there!), all three have been terrific for the Rhino this season. Kicking goals will be an issue though. Big Nate has to fire to take pressure off Drake and Ambrosino and McClamroch need to have big ones indeed.

Who will win? The Rhinos have the pace, the Tigers will dominate in the air and have lots and lots of talent at their disposal as well as a plethora of experience including a massive Australian contingent along with a Revo contingent that can’t be ignored. The Rhinos will need something extra, extra, extra special to stop the Tiger from roaring this saturday and running away with its first Metro title.

GAME DETAILS
WHO: Wrigleyville Rhinos v Lincoln Square Tigers
WHEN: Saturday, August 19th at 4.30pm
WHERE: Waveland
WHAT: Fourth installment of the Metro Grand Final. If you are wondering, previous winners are.. 08- Piranhas, 07- Piranhas, 06- Rhinos

Players to watch:
TIGERS: Burgmann, Dejong, Meyer, the Big Lebowski, Braddis, Uhlmann, Dhoory
RHINOS: Ambrosino, Herrmann, Wolfe, Scher, Panek, Blundell, OBK

Big Match ups:
Drake v Poncho/ De Jong, Wolfe v Trimberger, Herrmann v Dhoory, Blundell v Brennan, Deehan v Lebowski

After match function:
Come to the Globe Pub to toast the Metro premiers and the culmination of a successful Metro season in which the Piranhas didn’t make the final.

Umpires:
Anthony Hendrie has the honor of the first bounce and he will be supported with a full compliment of Piranhas running the boundary (Hayse and MacGlashan have volunteered for that) and Roofy and Deri have volunteered for goal umpiring duty.

LAST WORD:
Roofy seems to be a runaway winner in both the MacGlashan and Burgmann awards this year but Oscar is still nipping at his heels for the MacGlashan side of things but he looks to see a lot of John Scher so can the Warrick Capper lookalike kick a bag?

Burgmann Fields, IL- A match for the ages was carried out on Friday night as the Wrigleyville Rhinos and the Lincoln Park Piranhas battled it out to see who would earn the right to meet the Lincoln Square Tigers in the CAFA Grand Final. On a Waveland Field which was as dry and hard as an African savannah, the Rhinos looked completely at home while the Piranhas flailed about like fish out of water. Many observers believed that a Drake, Wolfe and Scherless Rhino outfit would be no match for the might of Lincoln Park – but somebody forgot to tell Wrigleyville that!

Both teams arrived at the field with 13 players. Wrigleyville were without United players Drake and Wolfe while Lincoln Park were missing Gambaro and Kastilahn. Both teams were boosted with the inclusions of Tiger’s stars Brennan (Wrigleyville) and Uhlmann (Piranhas). It was predicted that the Rhinos would need to win by approximately 7 goals to displace the Piranhas from the Grand Final.

While both teams made plenty of noise as they took their positions on the field it was obvious from the initial whistle that there was one team that had really come to play. Wrigleyville dominated possession for the first five minutes as Lincoln Park looked flat and were continuously second to the ball. Forte looked dangerous from the outset as he attacked the ball from Center Half Forward. During this time poor kicking left the Rhinos without reward as they scored numerous behinds without a major. Then with their first foray forward, the Piranhas were able to score an easy goal, a goal which should have broken the spirits of the Wrigleyville players. In what was to become the trend throughout the game though, Wrigleyville kept coming at the Piranhas and scored the remaining 3 goals of the quarter. The first quarter ended with a strong final few minutes for Lincoln Park but like the Rhinos earlier, the goals were hard to find. Didak provided a run for the highlight reel bouncing the ball through the middle of the field only to hammer the ball into the goal post from 40 yards out.

Observations from this period of play were that Wrigleyville were dominating the center of the field despite Stacey controlling the ruck contests. Ward was proving to be in fine form up forward for Lincoln Park but was being starved of opportunities.

Quarter time scores. Wr 3.5-23 LP 1.4-10

Suddenly the game was heated up with an upset on the cards. The Piranhas returned to the field for the second quarter with a new fire in their eyes. Despite this it was once again Wrigleyville who jumped out of the blocks. After last week’s magical disappearing goal from ‘Jezza’ Morgan, he was able to score again this week with his best Ralph Macchio Karate Kid kick from the goal square as he was surrounded by three Piranha defenders. The onslaught continued as Tim, Toby, Rocky and Crackers ran riot through the center of the ground and linked up with ease with Forte up forward.

With the prospect of a Grand Final berth slipping away for Lincoln Park they threw their trump card, Ward, into the middle and McGlashan up forward to try and wrestle some control back. The move worked with Ward getting plenty of the ball and McGlashan kicking two goals for the quarter. Still it was not enough for the Piranhas to win the quarter and they went into the long break 18 points in arrears. If this pattern continued it would be Wrigleyville moving on to the season’s biggest game.

Half time scores. Wr 6.6-42 LP 3.6-24

The third quarter was a free flowing ordeal with both teams moving the ball relatively easily through the middle of the field. Didak was proving he was not just a clever forward by moving back onto Forte and providing a great contest for the crowd. Hayes found his legs and provided great movement through to his forwards while the Wrigleyville onballers continued their high work rate. The Piranhas though were relying too much on fast breaks out of defense while the ball was still spending the majority of time in the Rhino half of the ground. The quarter finished without either team able to grab the upper hand and leaving the match set up for a cracker of a last quarter.

Three quarter time scores. Wr 9.7-61 LP 6.7-43

Both captains tried to provide their team with inspirational speeches and both teams were confident that they could win the final quarter. The last 15 minutes were completely one sided though as the Wrigleyville Rhinos did not allow the ball out of their half and if not for some very poor kicking could have put the Grand Final berth beyond doubt. Forte, while dominating his position, had a wasteful game in front of goal kicking 6 behinds for the match. The Piranhas were left scoreless for the quarter while Wrigleyville kicked two goals, six behinds. Once again it was the Wrigleyville midfield who led their team while Ward was left exhausted for his efforts for the Piranhas.

Final scores. Wr 11.13-79 LP 6.7-43

There were tense moments after the game as both teams waited for web guru, Oscar, to calculate the final percentages and see who had earned the right to face off with the Tigers. A roar finally arose from the Rhino faithful as it was announced that they had overcome all odds and trumped the Piranhas by 1.8 percent, a difference of 4 points over the season. The Piranhas were devestated but acknowledged that their performance did not deserve a position in the Grand Final.

Wrigleyville can thank outstanding performances from their midfield players who continued to win the ball in the center despite Stacey winning the ruck contests. Rocky Deehan’s efforts to rove off the ruck contest was particularly impressive and set the standard for his team. Forte, who is tipped to be named as coach of Wrigleyville for the final, was dominant at center half forward and made some great moves in matching up on the Piranha stars. For Lincoln Park it was a case of not being able to provide opportunities for their forwards. Drake had named Ehlers as a major worry for the Rhinos but the ball simply did not get to him and it must have been a very frustrating night for the big fella.

This leaves a Lincoln Square versus Wrigleyville Grand Final to be held on Saturday, September 19 at 4:30pm at the usual spot. Both teams have a particular dislike for each other and will be desperate for a win. The match will be largely decided by who is able to get their top players available for a Saturday afternoon game. It will be a classic and one that all of Chicago will be fighting to get tickets for.

Burgmann Fields, IL- Ryan Hayse has led the Lincoln Park Piranhas to a crushing victory in a bruising game at Burgmann Fields almost ensuring a berth in the Metro grand final in a months time. Hayse was unstoppable on the wing for the Piranhas and it was his pace and long kicking that set up many a Piranha thrust and sealed a well deserved victory over the gallant Rhinos friday night.

In a battle that see sawed for three and a half quarters, the Piranhas were able to kick away in the end, running out 21 point victors in a game dominated by the wet weather.

From the Mustard and Fitz led ball up, the game was a hard slog with both teams finding it hard to get a grip on the wet ball and use it properly until the dangerous Roofy broke out of a pack and snapped truly to put the Pirnahas up. The Kaiser in Timmy Herrman, one of the many young guns that will make up the future of Chicago football was instumental in many Rhino forward moves and he was awarded a free kick after a Piranha (probably Al or Betty) took a shining to the Kaisers headband and tried to remove it, along with the rest of his head. His kick from 30 out directly in front sailed through to put the Rhinos up at the break, 1.3:9 to 1.1: 7

The second quarter was a tough affair as the ball became heavier and slippier and players struggled to handle the conditions. The big match ups between BJ and Wolfe in the ruck, Roofy and Disco and Drake and MacGlashan were enthralling as the arm wrestle continued all quarter. The Piranhas looked the better as Hayse and Palmer produced plenty of run with Deri Morgan being particularly effective at the stoppages. For the Rhinos, their backline again held the key to their victory as Scher, Forte, Dorsett, Panek and new recruit Corey held on for dear life against plenty of Piranha attacks. At the half, she was all square with both teams at 1.5: 11 a piece.

Tired bodies huddled up and both Hayse and Drake, fully aware of the games importance urged their charges on to bigger and better things in the premiership quarter. It was the Piranhas that came out firing though. First Nolan McKeegan kicked truly and then when Dougie Fresh slotted through his first, the Rhino faithful started shifting uncomfortably in their chairs as it looked like a case of how far as the Piranha center men started to be very effective and the LP backline with DK, Simon, Cisco and the great wall of MacGlashan all combining to blanket Drake, Morgan and the Kid. A couple of telling overhead marks from Scher and some very gutsy work by both Corey and Disco kept the Piranhas at bay as momentum started to shift towards the end. More good work from Rooster Forte in the middle found a running Kaiser Herrmann whose long bomb found a running Drake. The ball was trapped and some deft moves to get around the hard charging Simon (thank christ they worked, he’s a big boy!!!) was rewarded with a goal. Seconds later, after Wolfe won the tap to Forte, his handball found Rocky whose long bomb found Drake for his second goal of the match and it became anyones game again. At the end of the third the Piranhas held onto the slimmest of leads 3. 8: 26 to 3. 5: 23.

It was a huge tussle in the last as both teams, dead tired and battered and bruised pushed for that goal that would win the game for them. Roofy was finally able to break the Panek stockade and goaled to send the Piranhas further up. The tiring Rhinos found it hard to move the ball as the Piranha big men in MacGlashan, Kastilahn and Gambaro took control setting up many a forward move. Hayses work was finally rewarded with a checkside goal that tore at the Rhinos heart but Dave Worniak was able to seal the victory seconds later when he was able to run into an open goal and potentially thrust his team into the metro grand final against the Tigers.

GOLDEN GOOSE
Not sure, it was either Betty Palmer for getting a dodgey free kick in front of goal and kicking into the man on the mark or Frenchie who kicked the ball 40 yds…. the wrong way.

GREEN JACKET
Nolan McKeegan

Burgmann Fields, IL- In a devastating display of Australian Football, the Lincoln Square Tigers showed why they have firmed as favorites to take out this years Metro Competition after disposing of an undermanned yet gallant Rhino outfit on friday night and picking up a new Australian gun in the meantime.

Without their leader, the great Ponch-a-relli and the flying Peanut in Billy Uhlmann, the Tigers still showed too much class with an outstanding midfield led by Crabs Dhoory and Crackers Brennan, a suffocating defence and a forward line that while it didn’t fire on all cylinders, had every opportunity needed to kick a bag. The Tigers height worried the Rhinos all day with EP, Joey Trimberger, Mustard and Piranha import BJ Gambaro each hauling in about 1000 marks between them and dominating the ruck duels which is where they were able to really put the pressure on the Rhinos who were without most of their experienced combatants.

In a warning to the well heeled Piranhas, the Tigers started hot with EP all over the smaller (yes, and fatter) Drake in the ruck and winning everything and it was mere seconds before they scored their first through Crackers Brennan as he made his intentions known. Oscar banged home a cheeky one on the line and the Rhino heirachy was already sweating as they tried to stem the tide of Tiger onslaughts. Against the play, the Rhino backs steadied and Jezza Morgan was the recipient of a lovely pass from Dave Wright, a holidaying Aussie mate of Drakes who was also 200 lb lighter then last time the two old mates saw each other at the Nar Nar Goon pub, arm in arm singing ‘Khe Sahn’. Morgans goal lightened the mood a tad and when Nolan goaled for the visitors it was game on all of a sudden. Crabs Dhoory was able to snatch one later in the quarter and sent the favorites into the first break 3.3: 21 to 2.0: 12 up.

The second stanza was all Tigers though and if not for some poor kicking for goal (and numerous rushed behinds!!), the game could’ve been over at the long break. The Rhinos tried guys everywhere but with 5 first gamers, 6 first year players and one returning legend (Fenton), the ‘experienced’ core of Scher, OBK, McClamroch, Morgan and Drake couldn’t find any answers as the big boys ruled the skies and the inform midfielders in Crabs, Fish, Crackers, Rory, new gun Matt and Braddis ran riot. Hoyt finally broke clear of John Scher to bag his first which was followed by the dash of Joey Trimberger who showed a clean pair of heels to run into an open goal and kick the Tigers out to a handsome lead. The lead was cut by six late in the quarter after some handy work by the Rhinos enabled Jez Morgan to take a very good mark in the goal square, using his body ‘MacGlashan’ like to work his opponent under the ball and his shot from point blank brought up the Rhinos only score for the quarter. At the half, the Tigers led 5.10: 40 to 3.0: 18.

The Tigers didn’t let up and like a dirty poacher in Kenya, continued to stalk the Rhino. Drake went into the backline and Aussie Mike into the ruck to see whether he could have some effect on the EP/Joe stranglehold. While the Rhinos certainly improved by chipping the ball around and increasing their handball use to try and run the gauntlet of Tigers, they rarely enjoyed a functional forward line and despite constantly pushing numbers forward, it was hard to break the Mustard/Gambaro led backline and the counter attacks from the Tigers were lethal. First blood went to Crabs Dhoory as he continued his amazing form this season. Brennan cracked his second for the afternoon before Pirnaha recruit Dougie Fresh got his first, sending the Tigers further in front. A huge mark and goal by Dave Wright brought the crowd to its feet and brought the Rhinos back to within a distant longshots chance at an upset, assuming of course, that half the assembled Tigers came down with swine flu in the following 3 minutes. At the orange break, its was all black and yellow 8.13: 61 to 4.0: 24.

Not wanting to give in, the Rhinos continued to show heart, especially the backs as they constantly attacked the ball. The Rhinos coaching staff would be particularly happy with the monster games of Glenn Clarke, John Scher who shut down Brian Hoyt, Eli Rosen and from nowhere, Tyler Dorsett who’s absolute blinder on Oscar frustrated the sausage maker all day, holding him to just one goal. In the middle, Herrmann, Borchardt and Blundell looked like they are serious players of the future and through their hard work and a hard pressing Canadian, the Rhinos brough up their fifth when the big fella from Russell in Manitoba where men are men and moose are scared got hold of the leather orb and kicked truly, if not elegantly, a mongrel punt that sailed through the big ones.

With the Rhinos preferring to press guys forward, the Tiger forwards were licking lips as they had a spare man and all the ball they needed. Hoyt marked and goaled from about 30 dead in front and then Fish Dhoory put the game in the bag with his second of the afternoon to send the Tiger Army into raptures as they ran out comfortable winners by 48 points. A very happy Mustard DeJong sent this chilling warning to Big Al and his Piranhas post game…”Yes mate, handy win against a very ordinary team. Very happy with the likes of Crabs, Matty L in the guts and the two big boys in EP and Smokin’ Joe who really won this for us in a big way. Thought Frenchy was good and Seb Grisoni is just getting better and better. Can’t wait to take on the mercenaries that make up the F&^$ing Piranhas again as we will give them a right flogging, mark my words. MacGlashan, I am coming for you”! Strong words indeed from the great man who is back to almost his best with a classic down back. On the other hand, Jeremy Morgan had this to say “no fu*&ing comment now get stuffed….. ohh, but if anyone does read your pathetic little write up Mr Scribe, just remind them that Annes Pants will be playing this saturday at 3.30pm on the cnr of Erie and Michigan, acoustic obviously. We don’t have a permit so you’ll want to be on time as it could be a short gig depending entirely on Police presence”

Burgmann Fields, IL- On a night when Warrick Burgmann ‘guaranteed’ he would be in attendance, the person that would have been his direct opponent cut loose, getting his Rhinos over the line in a great game on Chicagos’ lakeshore. Gerard Forte, brother of Bears running back Matt, was able to patrol the Wrigleyville backline so successfully that the Rhino backline has been renamed Fort(e) Gerard.

Both teams turned up with excellent numbers again, displaying the advances the competition has made since its inception 4 seasons ago. A few random Piranhas popped up and were absorbed to have a 16 a side game with 2 on the bench for each team, remarkable numbers considering the big guns missing from both teams (Burgmann for the Tigers and Wolfe, OBK and Miller for the Rhinos…. rumors of the Miller/ Burgmann duo performing at the Man Hole again on Halsted were trying to be validated but as of this going to press, neither party were returning phone calls).

From the bounce, the Rhinos looked the most dangerous as a proppy Poncho took the field alongside Tiger legend Mustard De Jong whose successful return was a welcome sight for all involved with Chicago football. In an unremarkable first quarter, Jeff Borchardt, playing on the ball for the Rhinos, was able to press forward and took a nice grab 30m out and duly stepped up and went BANG to kick the only goal of the quarter. As was expected, this was a low scoring game as both teams feature strong backlines but not a lot of power up front.

The second quarter brought more of the same with both defenses on top. Mustard, along with James, Poncho, Glenn, Art and Tezza were causing headaches for the Rhinos while Forte was doing the same at the other end, ably aided by Deeham, Scher, Panek and Morgan. Crackers Brennan, nursing a neck injury from his heroics in the Nashville game, started to see a bit more of the ball as the Tiger centers started to get on top. Big Joe was sensational in the ruck and his work with Rory and Crabs was the stuff of legends as the three young Americans controlled the bounces and stoppages. The Rhinos, with no one within 6 inches of the big fella threw Aussie Mike at him who battled hard (did a much better job than his coach it must be said!) and won numerous kicks around the ground to be an effective player for the Rhinos. Disco Panek was playing well down back and Jeremy Morgan was much better also and the two of them, together with big games from John Scher, Kansas Hattery and Glenn Clarke in defence went along way to the Rhinos continuing to keep the Tigers at bay until Crackers got a jump on Disco. His mark and goal put the Tigers up before Forte produced play of the game. Marking across half back he went in board to Aussie Mike who played on and hit Borchardt with a lovely pass. Forte continued running down the wing and was rewarded with the handball from Borchardt and from 30 odd out banged home number 2 for the Rhinos and send them into the main break 2.2: 14 to 1.6: 12.

The third quarter was all Rhinos as they looked to put the game away as the Tiger defense became stretched to the point of breaking. A busy Todd McClamroch was able to kick his first and then seconds later Drake was able snap truly in traffic bringing up the Rhinos fourth. Ambrosino found himself unmarked and after taking the mark went bang and kicked the Rhino out to its biggest lead of the game as they threatened to break the game open. But to the Tigers credit, they refused to give up as their centermen continued to win the ball with Oscar, Joe and Roroy particularly busy. Frenchie started getting some of it and more importantly for the Tigers, big guns Hoyt and Uhlmann started to get a few kicks. When Brian Hoyt was awarded a free kick late in the third, he kicked a ripper of a goal to give the Tigers a look in at the orange break, trailing the Rhinos 5.5: 35 to 2.6: 18.

The Rhinos started strongly again but weren’t able to put the game away despite kicking the first through Drew Ehlers who caught an embarassed BJ Gambaro red handed in the goal square.Ehlers goaled and Gambaro won the golden goose for his efforts that saw Mustard in the awkward position of not knowing whether to point and laugh or kick him. Another free kick to the Tigerman in Fish Dhoory brought up the Tigers third as the game finally got interesting. Hoyt ran into an open goal to bring the Tigers even closer as the Rhinos started to show cracks as they tired. Joe, Crabs and Rory continued to dominate through the center and if not for some classic defending by the likes of Forte, Disco, Dorsett, Deeham (another sensational game by the way and impressive bruise to go with it) and the birthday boy in Scher, this could have been a different result. As it was, the tigers kept attacking with Hoyt continuing to look dangerous as well as Grisoni, the brothers Dhoory and Oscar who were all getting plenty of it. When Rory goaled to get the Tigers within a kick the Rhinos finally started to win possession again and were able to run the game out, finally winning by a solitary kick.

GOLDEN GOOSE:
BJ Gambaro for playing on while on the goal line and being caught by the devastating speed that is Drew Ehlers. Runner up was Warrick Burgmann for his inglorious effort of guaranteeing attendance but golden goose rules insist one must be in attendance at the globe to receive the award and despite him saying he’d be there (“there’s beer there mate”) we knew better.

Burgmann Fields, IL- The Chicago lakefront was abuzz both before and after this titanic struggle Friday night. The return of Rod Bashford brought out some 3 extra supporters to add to the Gore army and after their impressive win first up against the Tigers of Lincoln Square, it was a confident Wrigleyville club that took the field to take on last years premier, the incredibly tall and strong Piranhas.

In a turn for the ages, it was Wrigleyville who lobbed with the numbers, bringing every player on their list excepting legendary figure Craig ‘Funky’ Miller who is as reclusive as Warrick Burgmann these days. Reports that the two old mates have begun shacking up at the corner of Belmont and Halsted and winning tonnes of money in the ‘shower competition’ held every friday night at the Man Hole have not been confirmed…. nor denied. The Rhinos actually had to hand over their latest recruit, Sammy Blundell to the Piranhas and like a bastard, he must have picked up 10 possessions in the first half to piss Morgan and Drake right off. The Piranhas managed 14 or so and the cheating bastards roped Crackers Brennan into the game which we will discuss no more in this media (Ku*ts).

Anyway, back the foooty (you can tell the Piranhas coach is a bloody Collingwood supporter can’t you, cheating bastard… not sour grapes, more like sour bloody lemons, how the hell did we lose this Rhinos? SHIIIIT!). Now, back to it, I’m good again and apologise to the Lincoln Park fans and the scumbags that play for them. The game started with Mustard (or as he shall be known now… the blind bloke in white, I thought it was knee that was the problem, not his eyesight?) tossing the Sherrin skyward as big Stace and Wolfey stared each other down. The Piranha was first out of the gate with impressive sorties forward which were marred by some dodgey kicking and a staunch Rhino defence ably lead by Forte (someone find a nickname for him on this trip please…. Hoyt, get him drunk, naked and tied to a pole and see what we can come up with) and Disco who was starting to come back into some form ahead of the big one in Cinci.

The Piranhas were on top in the middle as Brennan, Isadore and Stace repeatedly won it out of the center but around the ground the Rhino was reigning supreme but they hit a wall in the name of Bluey everytime they went forward. His run, coupled with St Louis’s other favorite son in Gambaro was a privilage to watch. Big Roofy was again being frustrated up front as Forte was doing a stellar job on him and the Rhino backs kept them in it as John ‘high and happy’ Scher, Glenn Clarke and Jeffrey Borchardt all provided excellent opportunities for their forwards. It wasn’t until Forte, creeping up the ground, was able to take a bounce and kick long that the Rhinos finally were able to score. His bomb found the OBK who took what many called mark of the century. The kid, not missing a beat, played on and drilled the Rhinos first from about 50 (inches) out. At the quarters end, the Rhino loomed large, 1.0:6 to 0.3: 3.

The Piranha was not to be denied though and came out full of piss and vinegar as the game rose a notch. The tackling was sensational and there wasn’t an easy kick to be found (trust me, I looked everywhere for one). New gun Nolan was the first to score with an impressive goal to put the Piranhas in front and when Bluey, after another of his damaging runs out of defence took a bounce and went BANG from 40 put the Piranhas further in front it was a worried Drake that threw himself into the ruck and Wolfe to full forward to see whether the Rhinos could get something going. The ploy worked with Wolfe banging home a snap in heavy traffic to send the game into half time with the Piranhas in front 2.5: 17 to 2.1: 13

With the Piranhas on top through the center, Ambrosino went into the middle but with the move of Roofy into the ruck, the Pirnahs continued to dictate the flow of the ball but were unable to break the back of the Rhino as their youngsters continued to frustrate. Jack Thompson again showed he is a class act as did first gamer Elijah (Oscars mate hence a future Tiger) and the unsung Rhinos such as the two Tylers (Hattery playing a great game on Al and then tristan), Scher and panek were able to weather the storm and turn the game for the Rhino. Drake threw the dice and moved Morgan to defence and Forte up front and the big fella saluted his coach with two big 3rd quarter goals to put the Rhinos back in front and send MacGlashan sprawling as he searched his stacked team for answers to the big blonde. Forte could’ve had number three were it not for a ‘Golden Goose’ moment from the other big blonde in Wolfe. A Forte bomb was met by the lone Wolfe in the goalsquare whose attmepted mark hit him in the chest, knocked him over and dribbled through for a behind. The ensuing Gambaro kick in found the one Rhino in amongst about 8 Piranhas as BJ raised his hand for the Golden Goose too. Luckily for the other big blonde (sounds like the pages of playboy!), Borchardts shot flew wide and the Pirnhas were able to clear. Enter Rohan Ward. Well beaten last week and constantly frustrated by poor Piranha delivery, the great man finally said enough is enough and went on his way to winning the game by himself. MacGlashan went down back to get out of his way and the Roof took over. His goal, on the trot late in the third was important as it wrested the lead back from the Rhinos, who had had most of the play and were now going into the orange break 4.1: 25 to 3. 9: 27 down.

The last quarter had everything as both teams threw everything they had at each other. The backmen for both teams were under incredible pressure but didn’t crack. The piranhas, preffering the long bomb, took away their big advantage in Roofy, providing easy fodder for Drake who had put himself back to try and stem the Ward onslaught. Kastilahn was given the big job on Forte and MacGlashan played himself free across the backline and he took some telling grabs. Roofy’s next opportunity came via a very suspect ‘handball’ (can’t complain though, everyone except for mustard saw the first one for the Rhinos!) which he duly snapped over the shoulder for number 2 to send the Piranhas fans into a frenzy. The Rhinos continued to attack though and if not for some stanuch defence, would have won. A telling play by the OBK on the goal line where he rose above a pack of players like Michael Jordan himself and tapped it to Basher let the little man nail his first and get the Rhinos to within a point. She was hairy stuff as following the bounce, Borchardt marked and drove the ball forward urging his forwards to take one last grab but like a Greek God, big Al was able to mark in front of Forte and clear the danger. The whistle sounded like a poachers gun shot to the Rhino heart as the Piranhas ran out winners by one freaking point meaning all teams have a win each after the first round of Metro.