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Chicago, IL- The only face that was wrinkling and aging faster than that of Paul Drake on Friday night was that of Ryan Hayse as the great man bore witness to the seemingly unstoppable force that is the Tiger bandwagon as it rolled over the Rhinos with mere impunity. Hayse does, however, have the recruiting class of 2010 behind him with enough Paddys in it to scare even the most stout of Englishmen. Though largely an unknown and untried entity, this most recent class of Irishman is said to be amongst the best ever. Only time will tell if it contains the next Brennan, McKeegan, Doorhy or even, do I dare say it? The next Bradley? Hayse will need 10 Poncho Bradleys though if he and his Piranhas are to stand up to the might of the Tiger juggernaut.

The Tigers treated the Rhinos to a footballing lesson last friday and with guns like Tommy Gunn, Trimberger, EP, Junius and god knows who else to return, it could be a bleak night for those in the distasteful Romanian jumpers. Liebowitz (unless he is on a walkabout somewhere), the brothers Grimm (Doorhys), Brennan, Uhlmann and new gun Wilhelm will be all waiting in the middle of the ground, ready to rack up possessions quicker Burgmann gives out sponsorship deals. Oscar, Hoyt and Bradshaw are full of piss and vinegar and are looking for bags of goals and then there is that Tiger defence led by Poncho which the Rhinos found quite insurmountable.

The Piranhas have Hayse though. The speedster is in tip top condition and looking to lead his charges to a premiership after last seasons MacGlashan led disaster. His battles with Billy on the wing are worth the price of admission alone. But the big question everyone wants answered is “will HE turn up? Fresh off induction into the US Footy team of the year (yes, there is one), big Roofy has sworn off Metro footy for most of the season, claiming it is below him and he is not interested in giving out free lessons. But can the big man resist the smell of balls, the caress of leather on skin, the sound of men banging in to each other and the taste of sweat cascading down an opponents back as he is driven to all fours from behind? The crack of leather on leather as balls are kicked will be too much for the great man to resist and it is my pick that young 2026 recruit Maddox Ward will be locked in the cupboard with a bowl of fruit loops and a girly magazine (Big Jugs) to keep him busy this friday night while dad sneaks out to partake in some rough stuff (parenting advice provided by Al MacGlashan everyone.. I’d leave Cheerios personally, more fiber!).

The Piranhas, unlike the Cubs, are not all about the Roof top though. Gambaro is in rare shape, MacGlashan has put in the biggest pre season of his entire career (he took Kathryn to the park last week when Lisa wouldn’t let him watch American Idol… he pulled a hammy putting her on the slide though!), McKeegan is the most exciting thing to come out of Ireland since Joey ‘The Lips’ Fagan and Betty Palmer, now that all his efforts are going towards keeping just one lady satisfied, has more energy to burn than a pepped up, pill popping poodle in Pittsburgh. Look for the former Ben Rothlisberger of the CAFA to have a huge influence on this game and hopefully we will see him man up on the other former notorious ladies man in Brain Hoyt. Assuming they can keep their hands to themselves, this will be a classic match up.

Do the Piranhas have any hope really? Not much I’d say. They come in with 50% of their team having never played the game and their experienced players are making their first start. MacGlashan is likely to go down early, as is Ehlers as those infamous hammy’s tighten. Gambaro is a gun and will look to control the backline but the Piranhas issues will be how to stop those Tiger runners and how to break through the Bradley led defense.

WHO: Lincoln Park v Lincoln Square
WHEN: Friday, April 16 @ 6pm sharp
WHERE: Waveland Fields (formerly known as Burgmann Fields). Corner of LSD and Waveland Ave.
WHAT ELSE: Rhinos to supply umpires (can’t lose at umpiring can they??). 2 central, 2 boundaries and two flag wavers as well as many hecklers, drinkers and mockers.
ODDS: Tigers 5/4. Piranhas 7-1
PREDICTION: Tigers by 12 goals
WHAT TO WATCH FOR: Palmer v Hoyt, Gambaro v Meyer, Roofy v Vannessa if he ever leaves Maddox in a cupboard in order to play, MacGlashan v Drake after he reads this, Hayse v Uhlmann, all the new Piranha Irishmen v the free Guiness Poncho is planning on hiding in the forest preserve during the game.

Chicago, IL- This Friday night sees the welcome return to Chicago of top flight Australian Football as the might of the Lincoln Square Tigers takes on the upstart Rhinos of Wrigleyville in what should be a cracker of a game that has been 6 months in the making following the devastation of the 09 Nationals.

Ably lead by the great Francis Bradley, the Tigers have been the dominant recruiting team in the offseason with no less than 8 new players ready to make their mark in the Australian Football sporting world (and rumors abound of former Shark legend Jeffrey Dreher making a comeback!!). With names that read like a whose who of Chicago football, the Tigers have shot out to early flag favoritism and a quick glance at the Vegas odd makers show them 5/4 on to repeat with the Rhinos coming in second at the handsome odds of 4-1. The Piranhas with a lacklustre recruiting class are a mere 231- 1 to take it all (but like a pub with free beer, the Irish are flooding into the Lincoln Park team (now to be known as the O’Piranha’s or Paddy-ranhas) so look for a huge improvement from them.

The Tigers boast an awesome defence and midfield. Bradley, Fitzgerald, Grisoni, Hoyt and Trimberger are set to take aim at the Rhino forwards (DeJong is a huge loss however) while their midfield is nothing short of sensational with names like the brothers Doorhy, EP, Uhlmann, Tommy Gunn, Brennan and journeyman Leibowitz all looking to rack up big numbers in the possessions department. The forward line, long a burden to the Tiger faithful, has come along nicely this off-season. Look for Meyer and Bradshaw to have big games while much can also be expected of Ortiz, Junius (if sober) and of course club legend Warrick Burgmann (if he plays… absolutely nothing is ever guaranteed with the big man). The Tige’s, unlike their professional counterparts in Australia, feature a bevvy of quality new recruits and the coaching staff will have a field day trying to figure out best positions for all these boys. Harris, Jason, McHale, Harper, Allen, Wideman and Burds all look set to make their debuts this Friday night.

On the other side of the ball, ‘THE’ Outback Kid will lead his band of merry men into the game missing Blundell, Allen, Ambrosino and McClamroch. Big names such as Forte, Deehan and Wolfe must shine brighter than a Hoyt knob for the Rhino to scuttle these Tigers. The Rhino always gets great input from their lesser known players though so look for big games from the likes of Jackie Thompson, Jeff Borchardt, John Scher, Kansas Hattery, the 3 Tylers and little Eli Rosen who will probably get the big task of running with the flying Peanut in Billy Uhlmann. The defence is iffy without Clarke and their forwards will need to be on song to play against the infamous Tiger defense but an upset is not out of the question.

Fitness will be a huge determining factor in this game. All players are coming in underdone with the Chicago weather always being a factor. Lincoln Square will have the height and pace, the Rhinos will have the forward power and a huge chip on their shoulder. All in all though, a great game is expected on the shores of Lake Michigan this Friday night.

Details as follows;

WHO: Lincoln Square Tigers v Wrigleyville Rhinos
WHERE: Waveland Fields; CNR LSD and Waveland
WHEN: Friday the 9th of April
TIME: 6pm (sharp)

SMART MONEY: Tigers by 3 goals, 23 if Burgmann plays.

AFTER: Brownstone Tavern. This is an important function as we need as many people to attend to show our new sponsor that we are fair dinkum. We will take turns controlling Rocky after 10pm. NO BEEP TESTS TO BE RUN THIS EARLY IN THE SEASON BJ!

ALL PIRANHAS AND NEW PLAYERS: Each team must field at least 12 guys. We will endeavor to play 16 a side. If a team is short, Piranhas will fill in. Those picked will be 1st or 2nd year players only. Therefore, all Piranhas should turn up to the game with the following… Footy gear (no baseball cleats!!!), umpiring gear (experienced Piranhas… boundary and goal required.. Haysie will email you lot with more info), and beer (Worniak, don’t drink it all again).

NEW THIS YEAR: Burgmann award will run on the website and will combine metro and maafl. The metro Best and Fairest will be voted on by the umpires and votes will be sealed to be read out at our presentation night.

MacGlashan Medal is both MAAFL and Metro but you don’t get credit for goals kicked playing for an opposition team.

FINALLY: Get on facebook and check out the chicago footy site for all updated info on training, games, play ‘where’s Wazza’ and to upload any photos etc. Also, ensure you are logging into www.chicagofooty. com and paying your dues which need to be paid asap. Oscar has done a beaut job on the website and it needs to be seen to be believed. Check out the forum link to find out what the OBK is up to (or down to… lost another 3 lbs and now is 236lbs! Or was that 326? Dunno but we’ll see friday night!)

The Chicago Australian Football Association and Qantas Airways are pleased to announce their continued sponsorship of Chicago Footy. Qantas again has shown it is committed to supporting the local community and Chicago area business’ travel needs to the South Pacific. Qantas Airways has been a great supporter of Aussie Rules in Chicago.

With Qantas’ sponsorship spanning 10 years, we truly appreciate your ongoing partnership with the CAFA. For the latest Qantas news and fare information visit www.qantas.com.au.

The 2010 Chicago United squad has been eager to get back on the pitch ever since they were put down at Nationals by the Calgary Kangaroos. With the sour taste still fresh in their mouths United leaders took off season training to the next level.

“It’s always nice to get out and break a sweat playing basketball or hitting the gym.” said new coach of the United, Anthony Hendrie. “But our lads wanted to get the footy in their hand again, work on some footwork, and start the season off strong.”

A typically Chicago United offseason would bring the team together for some pick up basketball games, extra fitness, and the ever present night festivities. However, the club went the extra mile to rent indoor soccer space at a nearby facility. As a result, recruiting numbers are up and the United are getting an early start on their championship run.

“We made some great changes and additions this off-season. New coach, new sponsor, and some quality recruits.” President Frank Bradley explains. “We’re bringing back a lot of our starters this year. More importantly is that we’ve got some young guys who will challenge those veterans for starting spots. It makes everyone better.”

The indoor training sessions have allowed The United squad to focus on getting their mechanics back after a cold off season and several months away from a football. Back in October, the United squad faced a focused Calgary in their first Nationals is two years.

“It was a wake up call for a lot of our guys.” says veteran B.J. Gambaro. “Our pace just wasn’t there and Calgary did a good job of taking us out of our game. Regardless, 2010 is a big year for us both in the MAAFL and at the National level. We’ll be ready for Nashville.”

The Chicago United have 3-peated in the Mid American Australian Football League (MAAFL) claiming titles in 2007, 2008, and 2009. As the weather turns in Chicago the team looks to get off to a quick start and many of the new recruits will get the first taste of the big Waveland Oval. It all starts with Chicago’s own Metro Divison where the Wrigleyville Rhinos will face the defending champs, Lincoln Square Tigers, on April 9th. The Chicago United squad will first suit up for the Columbus Jackaroos on May 22nd.

We had a very successful meeting this past Saturday at Brownstone. Pretty decent turnout of team members and a couple of new players showed up. Elections went pretty smooth and there wasn’t too much drama. The Exec Board remains the same as last year, I will be President again, VP-Disco, Treas-Al, Sec-Gordo. We will have Adrian as our Op’s mananger this year and Social will be led by Brian Hoyt and his merry men. Our new coach is Anthony (Ant) Hendrie and head trainer is Ryan Hayes. Metro co-ordinator will be Drakey and he will head the 1st Metro Draft night March 20th-info to follow in the coming weeks. The rest of the committees will be posted online and everyone is encouraged to let their voice be heard regarding any issues and goings-on of the club.

There were schedules handed out to those who attended the meeting and will be posted online soon enough. It is not set in stone but is a good template to plan around. We are still fine-tuning some games and on our plate right now is a tourney June 19th in Denver. KC/Arizona/NYC are on the short list of confirmed squads. It will be a Nationals format (2-20’s with minimum of 2 games) and most likely will be a one day event. Need to know now from the team who can make this trip. Besides Nashville at the end of August we have no other flights for the season. This would be a great weekend away and a good barometer of our talent/commitment for the summer. Go to chicagofooty.com and vote on your status for this game.

We will begin training right after St Paddy’s weekend and will have a weeknight basketball/cardio at Windy City Fieldhouse starting mid-March as well.

Brownstone will be our new home-base of operations for this coming year. They are part of the Four Corners Tavern Group (www.fourcornerstaverns.com) and we will stop by after practice/metro/MAAFL games at either Brownstone or one of the other bars under their management which include Schoolyard/Kirkwoods/Gaslight/WestEnd/Sidebar. Anthony Hendrie worked very hard to get a proposal to them and I would like to thank him on behalf of the club. They are working on a beer sponsor right now and once that is all sorted we should have beer specials. The manager at Brownstone provided some food for us on Saturday for free and will take care of us as long as we do our part and drink plenty of booze and take care of the staff.

Check the website frequently for other information and social activities. Paintball is not too far off and we might work in a bowling/trivia night soon as well. Like Fitzy said, “get your gay on” and recruit new players. Get your meathead on and start lifting and running like BJ. Take care.

Prez Ponch

The 2009 CAFA Awards were held at the Schoolyard Tavern on Southport last month. Frankie Bradley started the afternoon off irritating Bears fans by booking the entire back section of the bar…. The Bears continued that streak of irritating Bears fans by playing a game of football.  After much singing and cheesehead bashing, the awards got down to business.

The winners are as follows:
MAAFL Premiership – Chicago United
Metro Premiership – Lincoln Square Tigers
MacGlashan Medal – Rohan “Roofy” Ward
Burgmann Medal – Rohan “Roofy” Ward
Metro B&F Award – Gerard “Rooster” Forte
Rich Noty Clubman award – Paul “Oscar” Meyer
Coaches Award – Ryan “Haysie” Hayes
Best First Year Player – John Scher
Thomas the Tank Engine Runaway Train award – Adrian “Rocky” Deeham

In addition to the presentation of the club awards, the presentation of the first Life Member of the Chicago Australian Football Association was announced. Warrick Burgmann was awarded this prestigous title for his years of dedication to building Australian Rules football in the USA and Chicago.

Coach Matthew “Mustard” de Jong was awarded a service award for his coaching duties over the last three years.