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Burgmann Fields, IL- In a devastating display of Australian Football, the Lincoln Square Tigers showed why they have firmed as favorites to take out this years Metro Competition after disposing of an undermanned yet gallant Rhino outfit on friday night and picking up a new Australian gun in the meantime.

Without their leader, the great Ponch-a-relli and the flying Peanut in Billy Uhlmann, the Tigers still showed too much class with an outstanding midfield led by Crabs Dhoory and Crackers Brennan, a suffocating defence and a forward line that while it didn’t fire on all cylinders, had every opportunity needed to kick a bag. The Tigers height worried the Rhinos all day with EP, Joey Trimberger, Mustard and Piranha import BJ Gambaro each hauling in about 1000 marks between them and dominating the ruck duels which is where they were able to really put the pressure on the Rhinos who were without most of their experienced combatants.

In a warning to the well heeled Piranhas, the Tigers started hot with EP all over the smaller (yes, and fatter) Drake in the ruck and winning everything and it was mere seconds before they scored their first through Crackers Brennan as he made his intentions known. Oscar banged home a cheeky one on the line and the Rhino heirachy was already sweating as they tried to stem the tide of Tiger onslaughts. Against the play, the Rhino backs steadied and Jezza Morgan was the recipient of a lovely pass from Dave Wright, a holidaying Aussie mate of Drakes who was also 200 lb lighter then last time the two old mates saw each other at the Nar Nar Goon pub, arm in arm singing ‘Khe Sahn’. Morgans goal lightened the mood a tad and when Nolan goaled for the visitors it was game on all of a sudden. Crabs Dhoory was able to snatch one later in the quarter and sent the favorites into the first break 3.3: 21 to 2.0: 12 up.

The second stanza was all Tigers though and if not for some poor kicking for goal (and numerous rushed behinds!!), the game could’ve been over at the long break. The Rhinos tried guys everywhere but with 5 first gamers, 6 first year players and one returning legend (Fenton), the ‘experienced’ core of Scher, OBK, McClamroch, Morgan and Drake couldn’t find any answers as the big boys ruled the skies and the inform midfielders in Crabs, Fish, Crackers, Rory, new gun Matt and Braddis ran riot. Hoyt finally broke clear of John Scher to bag his first which was followed by the dash of Joey Trimberger who showed a clean pair of heels to run into an open goal and kick the Tigers out to a handsome lead. The lead was cut by six late in the quarter after some handy work by the Rhinos enabled Jez Morgan to take a very good mark in the goal square, using his body ‘MacGlashan’ like to work his opponent under the ball and his shot from point blank brought up the Rhinos only score for the quarter. At the half, the Tigers led 5.10: 40 to 3.0: 18.

The Tigers didn’t let up and like a dirty poacher in Kenya, continued to stalk the Rhino. Drake went into the backline and Aussie Mike into the ruck to see whether he could have some effect on the EP/Joe stranglehold. While the Rhinos certainly improved by chipping the ball around and increasing their handball use to try and run the gauntlet of Tigers, they rarely enjoyed a functional forward line and despite constantly pushing numbers forward, it was hard to break the Mustard/Gambaro led backline and the counter attacks from the Tigers were lethal. First blood went to Crabs Dhoory as he continued his amazing form this season. Brennan cracked his second for the afternoon before Pirnaha recruit Dougie Fresh got his first, sending the Tigers further in front. A huge mark and goal by Dave Wright brought the crowd to its feet and brought the Rhinos back to within a distant longshots chance at an upset, assuming of course, that half the assembled Tigers came down with swine flu in the following 3 minutes. At the orange break, its was all black and yellow 8.13: 61 to 4.0: 24.

Not wanting to give in, the Rhinos continued to show heart, especially the backs as they constantly attacked the ball. The Rhinos coaching staff would be particularly happy with the monster games of Glenn Clarke, John Scher who shut down Brian Hoyt, Eli Rosen and from nowhere, Tyler Dorsett who’s absolute blinder on Oscar frustrated the sausage maker all day, holding him to just one goal. In the middle, Herrmann, Borchardt and Blundell looked like they are serious players of the future and through their hard work and a hard pressing Canadian, the Rhinos brough up their fifth when the big fella from Russell in Manitoba where men are men and moose are scared got hold of the leather orb and kicked truly, if not elegantly, a mongrel punt that sailed through the big ones.

With the Rhinos preferring to press guys forward, the Tiger forwards were licking lips as they had a spare man and all the ball they needed. Hoyt marked and goaled from about 30 dead in front and then Fish Dhoory put the game in the bag with his second of the afternoon to send the Tiger Army into raptures as they ran out comfortable winners by 48 points. A very happy Mustard DeJong sent this chilling warning to Big Al and his Piranhas post game…”Yes mate, handy win against a very ordinary team. Very happy with the likes of Crabs, Matty L in the guts and the two big boys in EP and Smokin’ Joe who really won this for us in a big way. Thought Frenchy was good and Seb Grisoni is just getting better and better. Can’t wait to take on the mercenaries that make up the F&^$ing Piranhas again as we will give them a right flogging, mark my words. MacGlashan, I am coming for you”! Strong words indeed from the great man who is back to almost his best with a classic down back. On the other hand, Jeremy Morgan had this to say “no fu*&ing comment now get stuffed….. ohh, but if anyone does read your pathetic little write up Mr Scribe, just remind them that Annes Pants will be playing this saturday at 3.30pm on the cnr of Erie and Michigan, acoustic obviously. We don’t have a permit so you’ll want to be on time as it could be a short gig depending entirely on Police presence”

Burgmann Fields, IL- In the best attended game of the season (as far as participating teams go) the Lincoln Park Piranhas won a thriller that came down to a kick after the siren. In a game that both teams were desperate to win to keep in touch with ladder leaders, Wrigleyville, the Piranhas were able to produce an 18 strong team and the Tigers arrived with 17as very few available players were not in attendance. Unfortunately we were well short of umpires with VP, Disco Panek, the only fit Wrigleyville player at the ground (well done Wolfy). In trying conditions and with no support from his team mates Disco did an admirable job as each team did their best to gain any advantage.

In a pleasing sight for all, Pablo Isadore hobbled down to the ground in his impressive ‘boot’ to cheer on his team and to keep a very accurate and detailed score for the game(?). From all reports Lincoln Park’s other wounded soldier, Bluey Carroll, is also on the way to recovery and it will be a great day for United when he is well enough to return to Burgmann Fields in any capacity.

My apologies for the vagueness of this report as I am going on memory and it’s not one of my strong points.
The Lincoln Square Tigers were buoyed by the fact they had the majority of their squad available and while still missing big (literally)guns, EP and Joe, they were ferocious in the 1st quarter and jumped out to a large lead. The Tiger forwards, led by John ‘Fish’ Doorhy, were dominant and appeared to be able to score at will with every forey in their vicinity. Many scoring opportunities resulted in behinds though which would return to haunt the Tigers with the final whistle.

The quarter will be remembered for the Tiger’s superior fitness allowing them to run free around the ground. It was that or more likely the fact that Lincoln Park were playing one short on the ground. Art who was having his best season yet for the Square was a big loss for the Tiger defense when he went down with a leg injury mid quarter.

The 2nd quarter was a complete reversal of the first as Lincoln Park ran rampant all over the field. Finally the Piranhas returned to full capacity on the field and the fresh legs were telling. The three biggest players on the field were everywhere. Tristan and Roofy controlled the midfield and the rare ball which bypassed them was snappled up by the almighty mits of Al MacGlashan. Roofy was continuing his dominant season and showed his versatility by playing ruck rover throughout the game. The Tigers were shell shocked by the new found ferocity displayed by Lincoln Park and could not get possession of the football. Adding to the pain of the Tigers was the leaving of Fish due to a prior engagement. After the topsy turvy first half, Lincoln Park went into the main break a couple of goals in front and full of confidence.

The second half of the game continued as the first left off with Lincoln Park well and truly on top. The Tiger defense was working hard to prevent goals before Didak jumped high to take a big mark in the goal square to put the Piranhas further in front before the match began to turn into a stalemate. The Tigers were desperate to change the flow of the game while the Piranhas appeared to have their measure and refused to give an inch. Epic battles were happening at both ends of the ground with Phil Cisco working hard to contain a creative Oscar and a clash of the titans up the other end with Pace taking on Drewby. Luckily no player was silly enough to stand in front of these two as they charged out on the lead. Hazie and Billy were playing strong games for their respective sides as they both tried to give their team the edge with their run and creative play.

The last 5 minutes of the third quarter finally returned the flow of the game back towards the Tigers. Crabs and Crackers, who were both having great games, found some support from team mates and the ball camped in the Tiger’s forward line. Fitzy pushed up from half back and peppered the goals but alas, as with the 1st quarter, no goals were resulting. Good defense by the Piranhas meant that most shots on goal were either from some distance out or under great pressure. Piranhas went into the last quarter about 2-3 goals in front.

The game was set for an epic final term and neither team disappointed. In a game that was highly skilled throughout, the ball moved quickly from end to end without much scoring. Oscar put the Tigers within reach of victory with a classic banana kick from the boundary line and the irrepressive heat was turned up even further. With their tails now up the Tigers took the lead in the game (don’t ask me how but we must have had it somehow) and appeared to be looking at an unlikely win. Step up Nolan McKeegan for the Piranhas and amongst a sea of black and gold he was able to read the ball to perfection from the boundary throw in deep in the forward pocket and snap truly to restore a four point lead for his team.

The intensity of the game was going to continue to the final siren as nobody at the ground was going to halt their intensity. Fitzy was inspiring to his team as he constantly won the ball while outnumbered across half back for the Tigers. Louie(?) was constantly finding space across half back for Lincoln Park as he frustrated the Tigers attempts to score the winning goal. As the call came out that there was only 45 seconds remaining the game appeared over as Lincoln Park ran the ball through the center of the ground and looked to put the final nail in the coffin. Somehow the ball was turned over (can’t remember how) and the Tigers had one final opportunity. The ball was switched to Crackers who moved the ball quickly into the Tiger forward pocket where it was disputed before a quick snap sent the ball flying across goal. Everybody was waiting for the cry of time as Billy ran back towards the pocket, the ball floating directly over his head, to take a great one hander. The final whistle blew, hearts were in mouths for both teams as Billy drifted the difficult kick from an angle across the goal for a behind.

So came to an end another tight Metro encounter. The game has left Lincoln Square needing to win its last two games of the year to assure itself a spot in this year’s Grand Final while Lincoln Park will return next week to take on Wrigleyville with both teams fighting for top position on the ladder.

Lincoln Square will need to supply umpires for the game and players as early indications are that teams will be lacking numbers for this weeks game.

GOALS
Please help Mustard (and Pablo’s) memory!!! who kicked the other two for LS?
LINCOLN SQUARE: Oscar 3, Fish 2 (Fish 3? Braddis?)
LINCOLN PARK: Hayes, Drewbie 2, Deri, Nolan 1 (What about Sacco’s leap and goal?)

Burgmann Fields, IL- On a night when Warrick Burgmann ‘guaranteed’ he would be in attendance, the person that would have been his direct opponent cut loose, getting his Rhinos over the line in a great game on Chicagos’ lakeshore. Gerard Forte, brother of Bears running back Matt, was able to patrol the Wrigleyville backline so successfully that the Rhino backline has been renamed Fort(e) Gerard.

Both teams turned up with excellent numbers again, displaying the advances the competition has made since its inception 4 seasons ago. A few random Piranhas popped up and were absorbed to have a 16 a side game with 2 on the bench for each team, remarkable numbers considering the big guns missing from both teams (Burgmann for the Tigers and Wolfe, OBK and Miller for the Rhinos…. rumors of the Miller/ Burgmann duo performing at the Man Hole again on Halsted were trying to be validated but as of this going to press, neither party were returning phone calls).

From the bounce, the Rhinos looked the most dangerous as a proppy Poncho took the field alongside Tiger legend Mustard De Jong whose successful return was a welcome sight for all involved with Chicago football. In an unremarkable first quarter, Jeff Borchardt, playing on the ball for the Rhinos, was able to press forward and took a nice grab 30m out and duly stepped up and went BANG to kick the only goal of the quarter. As was expected, this was a low scoring game as both teams feature strong backlines but not a lot of power up front.

The second quarter brought more of the same with both defenses on top. Mustard, along with James, Poncho, Glenn, Art and Tezza were causing headaches for the Rhinos while Forte was doing the same at the other end, ably aided by Deeham, Scher, Panek and Morgan. Crackers Brennan, nursing a neck injury from his heroics in the Nashville game, started to see a bit more of the ball as the Tiger centers started to get on top. Big Joe was sensational in the ruck and his work with Rory and Crabs was the stuff of legends as the three young Americans controlled the bounces and stoppages. The Rhinos, with no one within 6 inches of the big fella threw Aussie Mike at him who battled hard (did a much better job than his coach it must be said!) and won numerous kicks around the ground to be an effective player for the Rhinos. Disco Panek was playing well down back and Jeremy Morgan was much better also and the two of them, together with big games from John Scher, Kansas Hattery and Glenn Clarke in defence went along way to the Rhinos continuing to keep the Tigers at bay until Crackers got a jump on Disco. His mark and goal put the Tigers up before Forte produced play of the game. Marking across half back he went in board to Aussie Mike who played on and hit Borchardt with a lovely pass. Forte continued running down the wing and was rewarded with the handball from Borchardt and from 30 odd out banged home number 2 for the Rhinos and send them into the main break 2.2: 14 to 1.6: 12.

The third quarter was all Rhinos as they looked to put the game away as the Tiger defense became stretched to the point of breaking. A busy Todd McClamroch was able to kick his first and then seconds later Drake was able snap truly in traffic bringing up the Rhinos fourth. Ambrosino found himself unmarked and after taking the mark went bang and kicked the Rhino out to its biggest lead of the game as they threatened to break the game open. But to the Tigers credit, they refused to give up as their centermen continued to win the ball with Oscar, Joe and Roroy particularly busy. Frenchie started getting some of it and more importantly for the Tigers, big guns Hoyt and Uhlmann started to get a few kicks. When Brian Hoyt was awarded a free kick late in the third, he kicked a ripper of a goal to give the Tigers a look in at the orange break, trailing the Rhinos 5.5: 35 to 2.6: 18.

The Rhinos started strongly again but weren’t able to put the game away despite kicking the first through Drew Ehlers who caught an embarassed BJ Gambaro red handed in the goal square.Ehlers goaled and Gambaro won the golden goose for his efforts that saw Mustard in the awkward position of not knowing whether to point and laugh or kick him. Another free kick to the Tigerman in Fish Dhoory brought up the Tigers third as the game finally got interesting. Hoyt ran into an open goal to bring the Tigers even closer as the Rhinos started to show cracks as they tired. Joe, Crabs and Rory continued to dominate through the center and if not for some classic defending by the likes of Forte, Disco, Dorsett, Deeham (another sensational game by the way and impressive bruise to go with it) and the birthday boy in Scher, this could have been a different result. As it was, the tigers kept attacking with Hoyt continuing to look dangerous as well as Grisoni, the brothers Dhoory and Oscar who were all getting plenty of it. When Rory goaled to get the Tigers within a kick the Rhinos finally started to win possession again and were able to run the game out, finally winning by a solitary kick.

GOLDEN GOOSE:
BJ Gambaro for playing on while on the goal line and being caught by the devastating speed that is Drew Ehlers. Runner up was Warrick Burgmann for his inglorious effort of guaranteeing attendance but golden goose rules insist one must be in attendance at the globe to receive the award and despite him saying he’d be there (“there’s beer there mate”) we knew better.

Burgmann Fields, IL- The Chicago lakefront was abuzz both before and after this titanic struggle Friday night. The return of Rod Bashford brought out some 3 extra supporters to add to the Gore army and after their impressive win first up against the Tigers of Lincoln Square, it was a confident Wrigleyville club that took the field to take on last years premier, the incredibly tall and strong Piranhas.

In a turn for the ages, it was Wrigleyville who lobbed with the numbers, bringing every player on their list excepting legendary figure Craig ‘Funky’ Miller who is as reclusive as Warrick Burgmann these days. Reports that the two old mates have begun shacking up at the corner of Belmont and Halsted and winning tonnes of money in the ‘shower competition’ held every friday night at the Man Hole have not been confirmed…. nor denied. The Rhinos actually had to hand over their latest recruit, Sammy Blundell to the Piranhas and like a bastard, he must have picked up 10 possessions in the first half to piss Morgan and Drake right off. The Piranhas managed 14 or so and the cheating bastards roped Crackers Brennan into the game which we will discuss no more in this media (Ku*ts).

Anyway, back the foooty (you can tell the Piranhas coach is a bloody Collingwood supporter can’t you, cheating bastard… not sour grapes, more like sour bloody lemons, how the hell did we lose this Rhinos? SHIIIIT!). Now, back to it, I’m good again and apologise to the Lincoln Park fans and the scumbags that play for them. The game started with Mustard (or as he shall be known now… the blind bloke in white, I thought it was knee that was the problem, not his eyesight?) tossing the Sherrin skyward as big Stace and Wolfey stared each other down. The Piranha was first out of the gate with impressive sorties forward which were marred by some dodgey kicking and a staunch Rhino defence ably lead by Forte (someone find a nickname for him on this trip please…. Hoyt, get him drunk, naked and tied to a pole and see what we can come up with) and Disco who was starting to come back into some form ahead of the big one in Cinci.

The Piranhas were on top in the middle as Brennan, Isadore and Stace repeatedly won it out of the center but around the ground the Rhino was reigning supreme but they hit a wall in the name of Bluey everytime they went forward. His run, coupled with St Louis’s other favorite son in Gambaro was a privilage to watch. Big Roofy was again being frustrated up front as Forte was doing a stellar job on him and the Rhino backs kept them in it as John ‘high and happy’ Scher, Glenn Clarke and Jeffrey Borchardt all provided excellent opportunities for their forwards. It wasn’t until Forte, creeping up the ground, was able to take a bounce and kick long that the Rhinos finally were able to score. His bomb found the OBK who took what many called mark of the century. The kid, not missing a beat, played on and drilled the Rhinos first from about 50 (inches) out. At the quarters end, the Rhino loomed large, 1.0:6 to 0.3: 3.

The Piranha was not to be denied though and came out full of piss and vinegar as the game rose a notch. The tackling was sensational and there wasn’t an easy kick to be found (trust me, I looked everywhere for one). New gun Nolan was the first to score with an impressive goal to put the Piranhas in front and when Bluey, after another of his damaging runs out of defence took a bounce and went BANG from 40 put the Piranhas further in front it was a worried Drake that threw himself into the ruck and Wolfe to full forward to see whether the Rhinos could get something going. The ploy worked with Wolfe banging home a snap in heavy traffic to send the game into half time with the Piranhas in front 2.5: 17 to 2.1: 13

With the Piranhas on top through the center, Ambrosino went into the middle but with the move of Roofy into the ruck, the Pirnahs continued to dictate the flow of the ball but were unable to break the back of the Rhino as their youngsters continued to frustrate. Jack Thompson again showed he is a class act as did first gamer Elijah (Oscars mate hence a future Tiger) and the unsung Rhinos such as the two Tylers (Hattery playing a great game on Al and then tristan), Scher and panek were able to weather the storm and turn the game for the Rhino. Drake threw the dice and moved Morgan to defence and Forte up front and the big fella saluted his coach with two big 3rd quarter goals to put the Rhinos back in front and send MacGlashan sprawling as he searched his stacked team for answers to the big blonde. Forte could’ve had number three were it not for a ‘Golden Goose’ moment from the other big blonde in Wolfe. A Forte bomb was met by the lone Wolfe in the goalsquare whose attmepted mark hit him in the chest, knocked him over and dribbled through for a behind. The ensuing Gambaro kick in found the one Rhino in amongst about 8 Piranhas as BJ raised his hand for the Golden Goose too. Luckily for the other big blonde (sounds like the pages of playboy!), Borchardts shot flew wide and the Pirnhas were able to clear. Enter Rohan Ward. Well beaten last week and constantly frustrated by poor Piranha delivery, the great man finally said enough is enough and went on his way to winning the game by himself. MacGlashan went down back to get out of his way and the Roof took over. His goal, on the trot late in the third was important as it wrested the lead back from the Rhinos, who had had most of the play and were now going into the orange break 4.1: 25 to 3. 9: 27 down.

The last quarter had everything as both teams threw everything they had at each other. The backmen for both teams were under incredible pressure but didn’t crack. The piranhas, preffering the long bomb, took away their big advantage in Roofy, providing easy fodder for Drake who had put himself back to try and stem the Ward onslaught. Kastilahn was given the big job on Forte and MacGlashan played himself free across the backline and he took some telling grabs. Roofy’s next opportunity came via a very suspect ‘handball’ (can’t complain though, everyone except for mustard saw the first one for the Rhinos!) which he duly snapped over the shoulder for number 2 to send the Piranhas fans into a frenzy. The Rhinos continued to attack though and if not for some stanuch defence, would have won. A telling play by the OBK on the goal line where he rose above a pack of players like Michael Jordan himself and tapped it to Basher let the little man nail his first and get the Rhinos to within a point. She was hairy stuff as following the bounce, Borchardt marked and drove the ball forward urging his forwards to take one last grab but like a Greek God, big Al was able to mark in front of Forte and clear the danger. The whistle sounded like a poachers gun shot to the Rhino heart as the Piranhas ran out winners by one freaking point meaning all teams have a win each after the first round of Metro.

Burgmann Fields, IL- Without the ‘mann’ brothers in Burg and Uhl and also missing Biggs, Crabs and Frenchy, the Tigers destroyed the short handed but still powerful Piranhas with a suffocating backline, great ball use and constant pressure that the Piranhas couldn’t handle, making many elementary skill errors and mental mistakes.

The Tigers started red hot and were never challenged in this one. Oscar Meyer, very vocal midweek about Wrigleyville’s borrowing of Piranha players last week, feasted on a great big piece of humble pie as the Rhinos Gordon Ambrosino, back from rockclimbing in Arizona and playing for the Tigers broke the game open with two first term goals, both from great marks. Brian Hoyt was busy after his poor showing last week and Crackers Brennan was everywhere, absolutely everywhere and doing pretty much what he wanted. His run from the center was a tribute to the ruck work of both new Tiger guns EP and Joe, both of whom were sensational throughout the whole game. Hoyt banged on number three for the Tigers before the Piranhas had even visited their forward line. When Brennan kicked number four, a rout was on the cards as the Tigers had winners everywhere. All Piranha forays forward were met by the great wall of Poncho and his pack of hungry Tigers including first gamer Rory, Art and Clarkey. The efforts from MacGlashan and Bluey in the overwhelmed backline for the Parkers were for nought as clearing kicks continually found the imposing arms of Tiger big men, Poncho, Joe, EP and Pace who merely drove the ball back inside 50 for their hungry forwards. At quarter time, a shell shocked Piranha outfit limped in 4.3: 27 to 0 to a verbal tongue lashing from the big Aussie from Corio Bay.

The second quarter started well for the Piranhas as Deri Morgan accepted a lovely tap from big Stace in the middle, had a bit of a run and banged home the fishes first. But then, Crackers, Tommy, Rory et al had other ideas and dominating posession, control the rest of the quarter. Fitz, continuing his fine form from the end of last season hit his straps and kicked the Tigers fifth with a bomb on the trot from about 40 out that brought a big cheer from the adoring crowd. Ambrosino, proving to be a right pain in MacGlashans backside popped up again with another grab and goal from distance that effectively put the game out of reach. With the Tiger backs pushing forward at will and the sheer domination shown by Crackers, Rory, Oscar, Clarkey, EP and Joe around the ground, it was a fair effort by the Piranha backs in Big Al, Bluey from St Louisy, Cisco, Nolan, Sammy Blundell and Chris to hold the Tigers to just two. At the half, a demoralised Piranha team saw an ugly scoreboard that read 6.5: 41 to 1.1: 7.

Wholesale changes were afoot in the Park as Ehlers went forward with Roofy into the ruck and Isadore onto the ball but still the Tigers, looking for retribution for the schelacking they received a the hands of the Piranhas in last seasons grand final, continued to rub their noses in it. Rory was able to mark 20 out dead in front after yet another break down in Piranha communication and he duly slotted his first major of his fleeting career to send the Tigers further up. When Oscar Meyer found himself alone in the pocket, his ensuing mark and goal effectively killed the game, setting off wild celebrations in Lincoln Square taht lasted most of the night. Ehlers was hit on the left tit by a lovely pass late in the quarter and kicked a bomb of a goal from about 45 yds out which offered some solace as the orange break was taken, Lincoln Square leading 8. 6: 54 to 2.2: 14.

The last quarter was an arm wrestle as the Tigers missed tonnes of chances (kicking 4 straight behinds… 5 if you include that of the Piranhas) but constantly won the ball at stoppages through the tireless work of Rory, Crackers and Fitz. Despit ethe height advantage enjoyed by the Piranhas, it was the Tigers who dominated the aerial batttles with new blokes EP and Joe taking grabs at will and being very ably supported by Poncho behind them mopping up anything that got through. The frustration on Roofys face was evident as the Piranhas, usually deft of foot and hand, repeatedly hit Poncho with long bombs after ignoring his leads and demands. Ehlers was able to take a late mark and kick his second of the afternoon as the whistle mercifully ended one of the worst afternoons in Piranha history (and there’s been a few!). The Tigers went on to celebrate a big win 8.10: 58 to 3.6: 24. With big guns missing from both teams, it’s hard to gauge the effect this game will have on the rest of the season but rest assured, the Piranha will bite back and be better for the run as they face off against Jezza Morgan and the fearsome Rhinos next week in a do or die game that the Piranhas must win.

CHICAGO, IL- Burgmann Field was full to capacity with a huge crowd on hand to welcome football back to Chicagos’ beautful Lake Michigan shoreline with a cracker of a game that had everything from a bit of biffo (who didn’t love seeing Grisoni lay out Betty Palmer?) to numerous lead changes in a heart stopping last quarter.

The game started with a great showing from the Tigers and yeat another disappointing one by the Rhinos who required the services of some Pee rah nas to enable a game of 16 a side to go on. Thankfully for the Rhinos though, they did get the 12 required to miss point deductions, much to the chagrin of big Mustard who was rueing his new rule brought out mid week.

The weather was a balmy 70 odd with a good 70 odd knot wind blowing across the ground with any advantage going to the Tigers who kicked to the northern end in the first stanza. From the bounce, it was obvious this was going to be an arm wrestle as both defences were on top as sides struggled to move the ball effectively in the conditions. Rhinos went with Kansas Hattery on the dangerous Burgmann who was looking resplendant in his “sexy capri pants and manicured toes”, while Drake was shadowed by Poncho up front for the Rhinestone cowboys.

The Tigers looked the goods out of the blocks as repeated forays forward looked dangerous but the extra man in ‘D’ for the Rhinos subdued any problems. Brennan was on fire early and the run of Poncho and Crabs out of the backline gave Burgmann, Meyer and the forwards plenty of opportunity, all to no avail however. Braddis was looking good and proved to be a handful for Disco Panek all day as the seemingly 30 lb lighter version of the 08 Braddis was running around like an acne scarred teenager with some high powered binoculars at a nudist colony.

It wasn’t long before the reason all the ladies turned up got hold of the ball but much to the assembled ladies dismay, Hoyts shot flew wide. A rejuvenated Biggs took a nice grab on a long lead in front of new Rhino Tyler Dorsett but he also shot wide. The Rhinos moved the ball down the ground through first gamer Clarke, top recruit and rugby convert Adrian Deeham and perennial legend Drew Wolfe and found new manager Jezza Morgan whose bomb into the far reaches of the forward line bounced into the waiting arms of Drake who, showing a bit more agility than anyone, particularly himself expected, went left, then right then back to the left in front of Poncho. Utterly confused and rueing his decision to go onto the left, he banged it on the foot anyway, just as a huge gust of wind came through, tilting the goal post and enabling his snap to sail through, breaking the strangehold the Tigers had had on the game thus far.

From the center bounce, the Tigers went back into attack and after dropped mark number 8 by Wazza, Braddis showed him how it was done with a lovely mark and goal to send the favorites into the first break 1.2: 8 to 1.0:6 up. The Tiger guns were firing with Burgmann, Poncho, Uhlmann and especially Oscar getting plenty of it, a worrying sign for the Rhinos who were being kept in it by first gamers Glenn Clarke, Jack Thompson and the hard running Jeff Borchardt.

Against a probable 2 goal breeze, the Tigers continued to dominate with Meyer becoming a particular pain in the arse for the Rhino hierachy as he seemingly had the ball on a string. He found Braddis early and the svelte big man popped through numero dos as the Rhino backs showed some tired legs. Drake went into the ruck and Wolfe to full forward as the Rhinos searched for their next goal. The move paid dividends as momentum shifted late in the first half.

Biggsy missed again and Braddis was unlucky as his third missed by centimeters then the Rhinos struck. Jack Thompson, the nephew of Swan legend Basher took the game on his shoulders as he continually presented up front. His first went wide but then picking the crumbs from a Wolfe lead, the big man sat back and nailed his first ever goal from 30 out on a tight angle. Wolfe was proving a handful for Gaelic import Rahilly and the Rhinos seemed to be getting on top as the siren blew. At the half, the Tigers went in 3.4: 16 to 2.3: 15 up with the game very much in the balance.

The second half was a doozy as the center lines for both teams took over. For the Tigers, Uhlmann, Meyer and Crabs were terrific but the Rhino backs in first gamers Forte, Hattery, Dorsett, Deeham and BOG Clarke were running hot. Poncho, Rahilly and big Pace kept the Rhino forwards at bay and the game became a war of attrition. Braddis, who was giving Disco Panek plenty to think about was able to break through for his third of the game but Jeremy Morgan, busy up front, was able to pull the Rhinos back after a deft handball from his coach let him dribble, literally, a ball through from 20 out. As they say in golfing circles Jezza, it’s how many, not how.

Brennan then struck for the Tigers as the lead changed again and again. Hattery continued to frustrate Burgmann while Hoyt was shifted into the backline to see if he could get that elusive second touch of the game. With the 2 main Tiger forwards being shut down, Braddis continued to resist but his snap was touched through for a point. From the kick out, the Rhinos, through Clarke, Morgan and Forte moved solidly on the top wing and Fortes bomb forward found Drake whose grab in heavy traffic was rewarded with a fine goal from 40 out. At the orange break she was anyones game with the Tigers still leading 4.7: 31 to 4.3: 27.

Drake, smelling an upset, through Forte and Clarke into the middle and Wolfe back into the ruck with Deeham back in the guts as well with the aim of stopping a red hot Crackers Brennan. The move paid off for the Rhino coach as Wolfes tap from the Big Al bounce found Forte who went bang from the center of the ground and the ball, bouncing in front of a leading Aussie Mike, evaded both him and his defender and mercifully for the Rhinos went through the big sticks to put the Rhino in front. Next up and the Rhinos attacked again with Morgan missing one he should’ve kicked before big Aussie Mike Allen said thanks very much and kicked truly to bring up his first to put the first nail in the Tiger coffin. Seconds later he had another chance but a sensational diving effort from Grisoni enabled him to get a hand on a certain 6 points, keeping the Tige’s in it.

With the pressure on, the Tigers, through Meyer, Crabs, Brennan and Mark Warren kept attacking until a Rhino defensive break down saw Uhlmann mark 30 out dead in front. His shot missed and the Rhinos were able to suffocate the game as Jack Thompson, Glenn Clarke and Jeffery Borchardt each stepped up again for important plays enabling the Rhino to gore its way to a momentous victory 6.5: 41 to 4.8: 32