News — piranhas


Rhinos Feel Piranha Bite 0

The Piranhas welcomed back MacGlashan (1 goal) and Drewbie (2 goals), 2 of their veteran champions that have been seen so rarely at Kastilahn Towers that DK had to introduce them to the rest of the team before the game. Both played pivotal roles in the win that was set up by a dominant midfield and strong backline that was able to control the Rhino danger men in Gordo and McClamroch.

The game opened up with Lincoln Park scoring their first within a minute and the writing was already on the wall. El Presidente Ehlers was electrifying as he carved up both Fenton and the Rhino backline as he helped himself to 2 for the quarter. Roofy’s bro in law Brian kicked the first of his 3 as the Piranhas took control in the centre giving their forwards every opportunity.

The Rhinos were missing Miller, Morgan, McCoombe, LeBlanc, Anderson and ‘Biggun’ Jackson but still was able to muster a pretty decent team that was shell shocked at quarter team. McClamroch was able to score the first for the Rhinos just before quarter time giving the rhinos some fight as they looked to the second quarter. At the first break, LP led 3.2: 20 to 1.3: 9

McClamroch banged on another to open the second and was threatening to win the game off his own boot as the Rhinos started to charge but as soon as they began to threaten, the Piranha fought back and once he smelt blood, he went straight for the throat. MacGlashan produced a bomb from 50 out before Brian got his second. Roofy started getting loose and bagged himself 2 while Haysie found plenty of room on the wing and bagged one for himself. Poncho nailed a bomb from the boundary and at the half, the Piranhas were dominating every aspect of the game and were thinking how far. At the long break, a demoralized Rhino outfit trailed by over 7 goals being 2.3: 15 against a potent Piranhas team 9.4: 58

Drake swung the changes and demanded more of his backline but numbers were against him. Mustard did a splendid job on MacGlashan and Fenton was starting to get on top of Ehlers as the rhinos fought back. Brian put another nail in the Rhino coffin with his third to announce his arrival on the CAFA scene. Brian Hoyt hit back for Wrigleyville with a lovely shot from the boundary and complimented this with his second minutes later. Ehlers broke away from Fenton to kick his second before the Rhinos hit back with their third for the quarter in what can only be described as the greatest goal in US history. Lets see if I can properly describe this…… “Ambrosino collects the pill 40 out. He dodges and he weaves and he dodges again before straightening up from 30 out and going ‘BANG’ and a wobbly, mongrel punt leaves his boot and is destined for an out on the full call before cannoning into the back of OBK’s head and magically back into the hands of Gordo who slams it back on the boot, this time from 20 out and sees it sail straight through the middle of the hey diddle diddle”. The game comes to a halt and time is called as players from both teams try to pick themselves up off the ground as OBK walks around in a daze and Gordo celebrates. At the orange break, LP led 11.7: 73 to WV 5.3: 33

Drake had one more move up his sleeve and threw everyone behind the ball and put himself, Gordo and a still dazed OBK up forward as the Rhinos gambled on a big last quarter. In the fading light, the move almost paid off as B. Hoyt ran through the middle and hit his coach on the left tit out in front of Beau Rogers. The ensuing goal to Drake sparked the Rhino for a last hurrah and on the next play Hoyt P was able to grab the pig skin and bomb it up forward where Drake marked over Beau again, 30 out. The kick however could not match the grab and the Piranhas were able to rebound and dominate the footy and run the game into the ground as Hayse added his second to put the game away. The Rhinos continued to fight and Drake kicked his second for the game with a big bomb from the boundary that set the crowd alight. The Piranhas put Kastilahn on Drake and Phil Cisco continued to pester the hell out of Gordo and the Piranhas were able to shut the game down and continue to come good at the business end of the season. The Piranhas are now the team to look at as the Tigers continue to struggle for numbers and the Rhinos struggle for consistency. More threatening is that this Piranha team was without Ternes and Deri Morgan both of who will add a lot more power and strength to an already impressive line up. If they can afford the big wages of MacGlashan and Ehlers to ensure they continue to play, the Pirnahas will certainly give this competition a shot in the arm as they ran out 34 point winners in this one.


Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
Piranhas 3.2.20 6.2.38 2.3.15 1.3.9 12.10.82
Rhinos 1.3.9 1.0.6 3.0.18 2.3.15 7.6.48
Goals Piranhas: Brian Monico (3), Ward (2), Hayes (2), Ehlers (2), Bradley, MacGlashan, Cisco
Rhinos: Hoyt B (2), McClamroch (2), Drake (2), Ambrosino
Best Piranhas: Brian Monico, Hayes, Cisco, Byron, Kastilan, Livie
Rhinos: Hoyt P, Fenton, Panek

Jackson Hauls in Piranhas 0

The big Aussie in Mark ‘Jacko’ Jackson shook more than just the departed Burgmanns bed on Friday night, he shook the Piranhas until the life was out of them and also shook the goal kicking ladder as he puts up his hand for MacGlashan medal honors.

Normally a backman of repute, Jacko took a great game of footy and with his 5 goals made it a cake walk for the in form Tigers who are revelling in the post Burgmann style of play adopted by Mustard and Oscar.

In a game where the pesky piranhas nibbled at the highly fancied Tigers all day, Jacksons bag was the difference. Oscar, himself a liker of the odd goal, found himself with three and Cisco nailed a couple for the Piranahs who were without MacGlashan yet again.

The game see sawed throughout but the Tigers, with more run and aggression, ran out 5 goal winners.


Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
Tigers 0.0.0 0.0.0 0.0.0 12.13.85 12.13.85
Piranhas 0.0.0 0.0.0 0.0.0 7.11.53 7.11.53
Goals Tigers: Jackson (5), Meyer (3)
Piranhas: Cisco (2), Beau (2), Ambrosino, Panek, Hayes
Best Tigers: None
Piranhas: None

* If you reckon you kicked a few, we are obviously missing some so email Drakey at to tell him all about how many you kicked and how well you played.

Rhinos Back in Winners Circle 0

The game started with a classic match up where the Rhinos Jacko had the job on the Rhinos McCoombe who was a late move to the dark side of Lincoln Park. Lincoln Park, in the absence of MacGlashan, Roofy, Deri, Haysie et al secured Mustard, Bradice and Oscar to name a few to add a lot of strength. The Rhinos, without several themselves went in with a full Rhino team however and the battlelines were drawn.

In a free flowing first quarter goals were surprisingly hard to come by with both teams using an extra man down back to spring board forward. Drake took a ball out of the centre and hit a wide open OBK who went back and went BANG. The wobbly punt fell short but into the open arms of Rhino dangerman, Scott ‘Osama’ Anderson whose resultant goal was the first and only of the quarter. At the first change, WV led 1.4: 10 to 0.2:2

The second quarter started with Gordo snagging one for the Rhinos, quickly followed by a reply from Dougie Malcolm whose errant hamstring was still intact at this stage. The good run and fierce tackling from both teams was remarkable considering the amount of players. The highlight of the second term was Betty Palmer with a MASSIVE hit on big Wolfey that had the Burgmann Medal favorite seeing stars for a while. McCoombe and Jackson were still having the battle royale but big Scottie finally broke the shackles to score another major for the fighting Piranha. Gordo added a couple of more points to his impressive amount of behinds this season and at the half, Wrigleyville clung to a 2.8: 20 to 2.3: 15 lead.

The premiership quarter promised everything and delivered with Ambrosino taking the game by the scruff of the neck and declaring it his as he put the Rhino on his back and tried to get the fat bastard to the line. McCoombe struck first to even the scores before the little Italian fired up. The Rhinos started to move the ball a bit better and once in the forward line Gordo took over, slamming on two majors to go with his 5 points, electrifying the crowd. The Piranhas saw Betty Palmer go down and then Fenton for the Rhinos got the old ankle tap that didn’t please the big Canadian as he looks forward to a big Canada day full of Molson, Labatts blue and some Moose and possibly French Canadian jerky on July 1st. At the orange break, the Rhinos had increased their lead marginally, 4.10: 34 to 3.4: 22. The Piranhas had to come back and with a pumped up and blood engorged Osacr Meyer, were more than capable.

The Rhinos moved Drake onto McCoombe to let Jacko get a run on the ball and shifted Anderson into the ruck to open the forwardline for Gordo. The Piranhas sent Oscar up forward and Mustard onto the ball with Betty Palmer in an effort to turn the game. They needed to strike first but it was Osama pushing forward and after fumbling in the square, realised he had time and picked up the kangaroo skin and slammed it home for the Rhinos to go up by 3 goals.

McCoombe was the recipient of a lovely Xman pass that he was able to slot through to bring the margin back to two goals. Gordo continued to do as he wanted except for kick straight and his impressive amount of 3 straight points pushed him to 3 goals 7 on the day in a performance that was nothing more than Burgmann-esque.

In the end, the Rhinos outlasted a gallant Piranha outfit that was horribly undermanned and coach kastilahn will be looking for a much improved showing as far as numbers are concerned this Friday night as they try to tame Poncho and his Tigers. Kastilahn however, will be very impressed at the effort his charges put in and the pressure they were able to apply around the ground on the Rhinos who were never able to break away. With MacGlashan back along with many others, it will not surprise this scribe to see the Piranhas jump up and bite the Tigers on the bum. The loss of Roofy though is a huge blow.

The Rhinos were ecstatic with the win and go into the break full of piss and vinegar. The form of Ambrosino and Wolfe is wonderful and the return of Anderson has been a big boost. Couple that with the much improved trio of Fenton, Panek and LeBlanc and the Rhinos aren’t looking as bad as they were this time last week after a melt down against the strong Tiger outfit.


Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
Rhinos 1.4.10 1.4.10 2.2.14 1.3.9 5.13.43
Piranhas 0.2.2 2.1.13 1.1.7 2.1.13 5.5.35
Goals Rhinos: Ambrosino (3), Anderson (2)
Piranhas: McCoombe (2), Malcolm (2), Meyer
Best Rhinos: Ambrosino, Anderson, Wolfe, JJ LeBlanc
Piranhas: Cisco, Kastilan, Thornloe

Tigers claw their way to victory... 0

With the bad weather looming over the lakefront, numbers were not as good as previous weeks. This turned out to be somewhat of a blessing with some of the most free flowing and effective running play seen for a while at Burgmann Field. The extra space on the field encouraged the teams to lead hard and use the wings a little more than ususal.

The centre bounces were a classic duel between the height of new additions Rohan Ward and big Aaron for the Piranhas against a smaller yet very damaging Mustard for the Square. Tigers Oscar Meyer and Frankie B were getting plenty of the ball while Betty Palmer and triple bouncing Hayes were winning their fair share too. Frankie was playing the role of rover and key position all in one, looking like he was also enjoying himself.

The Lincoln Park forwards were getting a few opportunities but just couldn’t get the score on the board, the Square only slightly more damaging with a couple of goals early on. Byron Galbraith was doing his best presenting himself and creating a contest with Doug chipping in with a goal in assistance. Byron lead all day and with a little more support could have really broken the game open.

Lincoln Square on the other hand had a couple of good targets but inaccurate kicking and great pressure from the Piranhas’ backline kept the contest pretty close. Both backlines worked very hard, pushing out wide using the boundary well.

The Hoyts as always regularly popped up in the play with Brian keeping his head over the ball, OBK chipped in with a goal after some unselfish play from BOG Oscar Meyer. Mustard and Jacko were solid all day, the latter showing some dash with a few inspirational runs up the ground-the former directing play with his settled delivery.

Lincoln Park big men Rohan and Aaron were doing well against a faster yet smaller opposition. Aaron taking some strong grabs while Rohan just kept running and was enjoying the open ground. These two will be a task for any team to match up on.

The Tigers in the end finished up 5 goals ahead, both teams the victim of inaccuracy. The last quarter was shortened slightly due to a huge storm covering the field with the Lincoln Park Piranhas finishing the game with the final major.


Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
Tigers 0.0.0 0.0.0 0.0.0 10.10.70 10.10.70
Piranhas 0.0.0 0.0.0 0.0.0 5.10.40 5.10.40
Goals Tigers: Meyer (3), Bradshaw (2), Biggs (2), OBK, De Jong, Hoyt B
Piranhas: Livie (3), Malcolm, Ward
Best Tigers: Meyer, De Jong, Hoyt B, Bradley
Piranhas: Ward, Kastilan, Byron, Hayes

Piranhas Take a Bite Out of Rhinos 0

While the Piranhas celebrated, the Rhinos were left to lick their wounds and count the cost of their first loss of the season. In a heart wrenching moment for all Rhino and Chicago fans in general, Gordon Ambrosino went down with an apparent knee injury in the last quarter, effectively killing any chance for a Rhino comeback and putting the United team in disarray as they set themselves to duke it out with a vastly improved Cincinatti in two weeks. While the extent of the injury wont be known for a few days, fingers are being crossed at Burgmann Towers.

From the opening bounce it was obvious this was going to be a cracker of a game. The star studded Piranhas kicked the first two through Hoyt and Beau before the Rhinos hit back through McCoombe who looked to be in terrific form again. The Piranhas dominated the quarter but were unable to convert with some desperate defending from Rhinos Fenton, Pat Hoyt and Case. Deri Morgan popped up late to score a major and at the first break, heads were being scratched in the Rhino huddle. The Piranhas had the momentum and Kastilahn demanded more out of his lads as he sniffed an upset.

At the break, LP 3.1: 19 v WV 1.3: 9

The Rhinos hit back in the second with some lovely passages of play. McClamroch continued his marvellous form on a flank that will one day be named after him. Ambrosino started to get a lot of the ball and managed to have 4 pings at goal, but unluckily for the rhinos, all were minors. Wolfe was starting to dominate both in the ruck and around the ground and it was all of a sudden looking very powder blue. The Piranhas however had other ideas and with Beau having a field day on the flank and the Piranha runners in Oscar Meyer, Deri Morgan, Betty Palmer and Ryan Hayes starting to get more of the ball the tide turned again. A bubbly Mustard was giving the Rhino defenders headaches and Hoyt started to find room in the wide open Piranha forward line. But like the Rhinos, Lincoln Park weren’t able to convert where it mattered most and at the long break it was LP 3.5: 23 v WV 1.8: 14.

The Rhinos sniffed a comeback and they took it right up to the Piranhas. Wolfe continued his domination in the center and Ambrosino was running riot but Kastilahn had a few tricks of his own. He moved a quiet MacGlashan to full forward and Mustard to center half back on first gamer Dave who was playing a great game for the Rhinos. Mustard was able to give the Piranhas the jolt they needed as his constant delivery to Beau, Betty, Oscar and one of the games best in Deri Morgan set up numerous forward thrusts where an overworked Rhino defense struggled to contain the Piranha numbers. Oscar Meyer broke free to kick a long bomb to extend the Piranha lead and Betty Palmer bagged himself one as the Piranhas threatened to blow the game apart before the Rhinos hit back. A busy Jezza Morgan who had his best game of the season started getting a lot of the ball and the ever impressive Ambrosino found a leading McCoombe who finally got the Rhinos second.

At the orange break it was LP 5.9: 39 to a terribly inaccurate WV 2.11: 23

With his charges tiring and the Piranhas threatening, the Rhinos threw an injured Miller up front to see if he could spark a revival but it was all in vain as the Piranhas dominated the last quarter. Against superior numbers, the Rhinos tried to hold out the inevitable but after Oscar Meyer kicked a beauty from 40, the game was over and the only thing that could make it worse was a major injury and low and behold, it came with the shocking knee injury suffered by Gordo. To rub salt into the Rhino wounds, a classic mongrel punt from Big Al fell into the arms of his captain and DK kicked one of his very rare goals, the perfect icing on the victorious cake for the embattled leader who will enjoy this victory for a long time.

Final scores in this one were LP 7.13: 55 to WV 2. 13: 25 meaning an incredible 26 points to 9 goals were kicked, possibly some sort of record.

For the Piranhas it was a well deserved victory as they look to kick start their season. The run they achieved out of the backline and their delivery to their forwards must have pleased Kastilahn. A return to form from Deri Morgan and Betty Palmer and the good form of himself brought a smile to the face of DK. New recruit Rohan played well and will be much better for the trot.

The Rhino hierachy though must be very concerned that their season just went down the toilet with the injury to Ambrosino. Drake will be pleased with the fight shown by his lads but in the end, a loss is a loss and this will be a bitter pill to swallow as the Rhinos go into the bye week.


Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
Piranhas 3.1.19 0.4.4 2.4.16 2.4.16 7.13.55
Rhinos 1.3.9 0.5.5 1.3.9 0.2.2 2.13.25
Goals Piranhas: Meyer (2), Kastilan, Morgan D, Hoyt B, Palmer, Beau
Rhinos: McCoombe (2)
Best Piranhas: Meyer, Kastilan, Morgan D, Palmer, Beau, MacGlashan, De Jong
Rhinos: McClamroch, Fenton, Panek, Hoyt P, Morgan J, Ambrosino, Wolfe

Piranhas Eaten Alive by Hungry Tigers 0

After a 7 month hiatus, football hit Chicagos shores again Friday night and Lincoln Square hit Lincoln Park even harder. After several days of classic trash talk between the two teams, everyone was on the edge of their chairs as they awaited the first bounce.

The Tigers, with the aid of a good 3 goal breeze got out to a flyer with new Australian recruits Matt and Paul justifying the money and time the Lincoln Square power brokers spent on securing their services with numerous centre clearances that repeatedly put the Piranha defenders under pressure. Mullis had the job of trying to contain Burgman and Palmer battled hard on a dynamic, refreshed Hoyt whilst a rampant Ambrosino seemed to run free, his pace a huge headache for first year coach Kastilahn whose headaches only got worse. Burgman opened the scoring with a lovely mark and goal brought about by a magnificent mark, spin and delivery by the former Kookaburra in Biggs. Ambrosino added two more and Hoyt chimed in with his first as the Piranhas failed to to penetrate the staunch Tiger defence led by Bradley and a very impressive Thorneloe.
Quarter time: LS 5. 5. 35 v LP 0.1.1

MacGlashan was licking his lips as the Piranhas started to hit back with the breeze in the second. With Jezza giving him 100 pounds and 6 inches and Tony Modra look alike Travis getting more of the ball and delivering well to the big man, the Piranhas started their come back. Big Al helped himself to 3 very handy goals as the Piranhas closed the gap. With Hayes starting to get on top and Kastilahn running hard out of defence and being ably supported by Fenton who is obviously enjoying married life a bit more than most and with Morgan and Ehlers stemming the free flowing nature of the Tiger on ballers the Piranhas got to within 17 points before Hoyt chimed in with his second to push the half time difference to 23 points.

The Burgman and MacGlashan show continued into the third with the 2 veterans going toe to toe and goal for goal. Burgman added three more and was basically unstoppable whilst big Al got himself one also as he continued to cause the Tigers headaches. Ambrosino snapped a ripper to extend the margin before Hayes’ kicked goal of the day, a pearler on the run from 40 which lifted Piranha spirits. At the orange break, Lincoln Square was keeping the pesky Piranhas at bay by 35 points.

The last quarter saw the wind die and the Tigers take control of the game as the undermanned Piranhas surrendered to Bryan Hoyts will as he ran riot up front. With Burgman taking most of the attention from the Piranha defenders and a seemingly limitless flow of opportunities coming from the dominant Tiger onballers, Hoyt was able to slip in for his third and fourth to put the game beyond the gallant Piranhas. Biggs marked strongly and kicked truly to put the game to bed as the Tigers ran out winners by 59 points kicking 14.16:100 to Lincoln Parks 6.5: 41.

For the Tigers it was a dream start as they won all over the ground and Burgman, with questions about his health coming into the game managing to escape unharmed. The win sets up a classic game next week when the Tigers take on the Wrigleyville Rhinos in what should be a cracker of a game with plenty on the line. Look for the big match ups in the middle with Wolfe on Matt and Ambrosino on Paul which will go a long way to determine the winner of this. Drake is in line as the next sacrificial lamb to take on the red hot Burgman while an interesting match up will be Bradley on the ever dangerous Scott Anderson. If Ryder turns up, he could get Hoyt and there are still question marks over the Rhino el capitan’ Millers availability. This one is harder to pick than a broken nose! For the Piranhas though, it was a case of to small and too injured again. A backline under constant attack was always going to break but they did a sterling job and Kastilahn, while disappointed with the loss of both the game and gun recruit Starick with an ankle injury, has much to look forward to with several players due to come back and a great game out of first gamer Doug.


Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
Tigers 0.0.0 5.5.35 0.0.0 9.11.65 14.16.100
Piranhas 0.0.0 0.1.1 0.0.0 6.4.40 6.5.41
Goals Tigers: Burgmann (5), Hoyt B (4), Ambrosino (4), Biggs
Piranhas: MacGlashan (4), White, Hayes
Best Tigers: Burgmann, Hoyt B, Case, Thornloe, Meyer, De Jong
Piranhas: Hayes, Kastilan, Malcolm, Ehlers

Next week: Lincoln Square play host to reigning Metro Premiers Wrigleyville. 6pm at the corner of Lakeshore and Waveland. Don’t miss this game.