Pitiless Poncho Pummels Piranha Pride... Perfectly!


Burgmann Fields, IL – I told you those Tiger bastards would win didn’t I? I almost got the Hoyt kicking the sealer while being tackled by Beau too…. but Hoyt missed and Beau couldn’t get near the great man and to the chagrin of DK, neither could any other Piranhas as Hoyt led the Tigers to a classic victory over the flag favorites of Lincoln Park.

The Tigers are hot and have unleashed several gun players this year, just in time to replace big guns Biggs, Burgmann and DeJong and this game was no different as the tigers welcomed in Tommy Gun, whose first up game was bloody fantastic and along with Crackers Brennan, Grisoni, Billy and Oscar late, were able to put enough pressure on the Piranha prime movers to nullify them and to inturn get enough of the kangaroo skin to keep the flamboyant Hoyt in business.

The Tiger backline was where it was won though. Poncho is in absolute rare form (was Saturday night to… just ask Al. Definitely 3 votes there Poncho old son… he made Dave Worniak look sober as a judge!) and completely took apart MacGlashan and then made Roofy look silly before going back to big Al. He was very ably supported by BOG Nemo playing his last game, meaning DeJong and the Tiger brain trust have another big name to replace.

We all expected the Tiger backs to have an effect but with the very gifted midfield of the Piranhas and their massive aerial power, all assembled were just waiting for them to take control, maybe play with the Tige’s a bit, say a bit of a spit and then a swallow and maybe spit again before really going for the head but it wasn’t to be. The trixies started well enough and nailed the first after a HUGE grab by Brian Monico in front of his adoring sister who did a magnificent job keeping score just quietly……. yet another thing Roofy has taught her to do well apparently! OI! Anyway, back to the footy. Monico kicked his first and sadly for him, it was to be his last kick of the day because the Tigers started to roar (another trick roofy apparently has taught Vanessa…. never mind, back to the footy). Playing his best game thus far, Fish was able to blind step the Dangerous Dave Allen and kick goal of the day to open the Tiger account and this was followed up by a classic crumbers goal by Arnaud Mathieut and then a glimpse of classic Hoyt with a mark out front and goal completely upending the drunken sailor in Dave Worniak whose dad was apparently passed out and snoring by this time on the sidelines. At the first break, Tigers had shot out 3. 1: 19 to lead the Piranha army, 1.0: 6

Perhaps the turning point of the game came in this quarter. The Piranhas hit back harder than Dave Worniak at a bottle of Miller Lite and were able to add two through the dangerous Davey Allen and gun winger Ryan Hayse (I was watching, your missus didn’t see it I’m afraid) whose bomb was a classic and one for the highlight reels. Big Al decided it would be prudent to remove Crackers Brennans head and then when Oscar went down with owie, powie popped the shouldie, two big Tiger guns lay dormant on the ground but to their credit, both rose like the phoenix and Oscar went on to snag the last two of the quarter to set the game alight with scores at 5.3: 33 to LP’s 3.0: 18

Macglashan went nuts at half time and demanded much more from his charges as Poncho wondered how he was going to hang on with big names falling like an Enron audit. He need not fear however, for himself and last gamer Nemo were superb in the premiership quarter and try as they may, there was no breaking the Tiger ‘D’ until Monico got a hotly debated (I know cause I made the call, Poncho wasn’t happy with me, hence the sucking up I’m doing in this report… the guys bigger than me and you know what those Irish lads get like after a few drinks!) goal after soccering the bad boy through. Crackers Brennan showed up to snag a late one for the Tigers as the crowd anxiously awaited the last quarter, with the Tigers maintaining a 6.5: 41 to 4.1: 25 lead that looked shakier than Mustards knees.

The massive crowd of 17 (and Oscie of course but he was away annoying 2 lovely young ladies that were playing frisbee on Montrose beach by this time) held their breath as they waited for the Piranha onslaught which came immediately. The Dangerman in Dave Allen was getting plenty of the ball but his kicking let him down as repeated forays forward were shut down by twin DYNAMO’s Nemo and the great man we all know and love as Poncho and the boy wasn’t letting the occasion go by as he was heard repeatedly telling Big Al how many marks he’d taken over him thus far. The Tigers finally weathered the storm that was the Piranha come back and then went on and put them to the sword. First Oscar kicked a bomb from an out on the full decision and then the guy that loves the limelight the most, shone brighter than his knob in St Louis last year (I saw it boys!) burst through a pack and went BANG over the shoulder to put the game away giving the mercurial Brian Hoyt (Pat’s brother) 2 more for the arvo and entrench himself at the top of the coveted MacGlashan Medal. In the end, the Tigers managed to run away with one of their best victories winning 8. 9: 57 to 6. 2: 38.


Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
Tigers 3.1.19 2.2.14 1.2.8 2.4.16 8.9.57
Piranhas 1.0.6 2.0.12 1.1.7 2.1.13 6.2.38
Goals Tigers: Meyer (3), Hoyt B (2), Doorhy J, Brennan, Marthouret
Piranhas: Allen D (2), Brian Monico (2), Ward, Hayes
Best Tigers: Meyer, Hoyt B, Doorhy J, Gizynski T, Bradley, Morrisey
Piranhas: Allen D, Hayes, Malcolm, Beau

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  • Thomas Shearman
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