Old Guns Holding All the Aces


CHICAGO, IL- The real men of Chicago are back, bigger (literally with regards to a few), not so much better but as cunning as old foxxes to take on the new guns of Chicago football in what is always (well, we’ve only done it one other time… I kicked 6 on Brazendale just quietly!) a great day on the Chicago footy calendar.

In a contest where bullshit will be the ultimate winner, its hard to see a bunch of young wannabes make any dent against the talent pooled against them. The mere mention of some of these names is enough to have a Kangaroo or Bomber or even a random Blue boy running for the hills. Brazendale, Kastilahn, Bacon, Latessa, Berry, Callachor, Masters, Morgan(s), Ehlers, Donuts, Miller, Gambaro, and perhaps the best of the bunch, Drake and MacGlashan all are out and out champions having represented the best of Chicago Football for a combined 350 years (Al makes up 75 of them himself). Are the legs there though and who the hell is picking up Billy and Haysie because it certainly wont be this little black duck!

The young guns have a pitifully weak line up that wouldn’t scare a bunny rabbit. They are coming off a demolition by the all star old boys 2 years ago (3 points if I remember rightly?) and it looks like Holmberg is missing which will leave a few doors open for the pups. But as they say in Milwaukee, if Brazendale is in the team, lets just give up and not even try as its like pinning diarhoea to the wall… truthfully, they say that up there…. Milwaukee are always talking shit.. get it? I am on fire today.

Anyway, back to the footy….. the only thing longer than the nose and ear hairs on a few of the legends will be the stories of the goals once kicked and grabs once taken. For the record, Callachor has never kicked a 70 m goal to beat Carlton (that was Blighty) and Bacon has never sat on Kelvin Moores head to take a hanger… but it may have happened, who knows. Shit this Corona is going down well.

Where’s Basher? What about Spider? Who the hell is Poncho playing for? Is Burgmann threatening to turn up for this? Braz, you’re coaching mate…. best of luck trying to keep Jules away from the goals.

I don’t even want to talk abou the young’uns, they’ve got nothing to talk about… except Billy and Jase Wilhelm, now there’s two good looking chaps… strewth, that 8th Corona went down way to quick.


WHO: Chicago Old Boys v Chicago Wannabes
WHEN: Saturday, July 10th at 3pm sharp
WHERE: Waveland Fields, CNR LSD and Waveland Aves
ANYTHING ELSE? Turn up, you’ll get a game. This is a fundraiser for our old mate Rich Noty’s Leukemia Fund so ddig deep and help support our club and the wonderful strides being made in this field that has had such a profound effect on our beloved club.
Old Boys: MacGlashan (Gun forward, massive grab), Brazendale (speed to burn), Pace McCormick (watch carefully as he’ll be injured by 1/4 time), Latessa (more skills than one man deserves… be done by 1/4 of the way through the first 1/4 though).
Young’uns: No one, weak as buggery

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  • Thomas Shearman
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