Piranhas Serve Notice


Burgmann Fields, Chicago – After Chicago Mayor, Richard M. Daley, stood in front of a 500 strong crowd several years ago to rename this piece of Lincoln Park ‘Burgmann Fields’, there are rumors that it will again be renamed, this time to the Burgmann Cemetery after the big man was taken apart for the third time this season, this time by a suffocating Piranha defense led by Al MacGlashan and Jeremy Morgan. In troubling times for the brainstrust at Burgmann Towers, ahead of a must win MAAFL game against St Louis, Burgmann has not been able to get out of first gear kicking only 1 goal in Friday nights big clash where the Piranhas were finally able to overcome their nemesis and beat the Tigers for the first time in 3 seasons. Often frustrated by poor delivery, Tiger big guns Burgmann, Hoyt and Biggs took to any means necessary to get the ball but all to no avail as they were outmuscled and outnumbered by Kastilahn and his Piranhas.

The game started with a sensational turn out by both teams and for the first time in history, a full compliment of umpires each of who did a wonderful job it must be said. It was the Piranhas who looked the goods out of the blocks though with a lot of tough ball gets around the ground resulting in forward forays of which one ended up in the hands of big Roofy whose mark and goal started proceedings for the favourites. From then on the rest of the first quarter belonged to the Tigers with Poncho and Nemo getting on top down back and Billy and Graham dominating possession around the middle. Goals to Panek and Burgmann sent the Tigers into the first break 7 points up, 2.2: 14 to 1.1: 7.

With daughter Kathryn and very pregnant wife looking on loving from the sidelines, big Al Macglashan, kickless in the first, moved himself out of the forward line and back onto Burgmann who was starting to show signs of life finally. The effect was instant as he was able to shut down not only Burgmann but the entire Tiger forward line with the help of Morgan, Allen, BJ, DK and Worniak. Despite Graham and Poncho running riot through the center, the Tigers were not able to consolidate and were only able to add one goal for the term with the little big man, Juzzie Biggs kicking truly.

A frustrated Tigers line up went in to the half time huddle in front 3.4: 22 to LP’s 1.3: 9 and despite leading comfortably, all assembled realised this game should’ve been put to bed already as the Tigers were unable to capitalise on the great work being done by their backline and middle. The Piranhas were given a nice kick up the arse at half time as Kastilahn sensed the tired legs of the Tigers and demanded more from runners Hayze, Hoyt P, Cisco, Beau Rogers and Davey Allen. The Tiger forward line were asked a few questions from injured coach, Midway DeJong and as the two teams trotted out to start the premiership quarter, it was still anyones game.

The Piranhas started to gain the ascendency out of the middle with Davey Allen being well supplied by BJ in the ruck against newbie Jason Seidenberg who was playing a ripper for the Tigers. Pat Hoyt started to get more possessions and Ryan Hayze was finally being noticed by his teammates and was starting to run riot out wide and through the middle but alas, the delivery of the piranha middle men was atrocious and while Roofy tried, he was constantly out positioned by B.O.G Poncho Bradley and with great support from a determined Nemo, it became a game of backmen kicking it to each other. A classic crumbers goal to Dides broke the stalemate and produced the terms only goal after Burgmann’s shot at the end went out on the full from 30 meters out dead in front. At the orange break, the LS Tigers were hanging on 3.6: 24 to a sluggish Pirnaha outfit, 2. 5: 17.

Mustard willed the lads on as DK demanded more from his tiring Piranhas and it was clear that in this low scoring affair, whoever grabbed that first goal would control momentum so big Al threw himself up forward and started to take over. The Piranhas were full of piss and vinegar as Dides slipped through his second. After Beau Rogers kicked truly and LP hit the lead, it was clear changes needed to be made if the Tigers were to get out of this one. A tiring Nemo and Poncho battled valiantly but with a forward line functioning like a 2 bob watch, the ball was rebounding too quickly and despite valiant efforts by an impressive Seidenberg, a promising Soup and others, the Piranhas were to good. When Dougie fresh stepped in to mark and goal, the game was over and a victorious MacGlashan, interviewed after the game was full of praise for himself and his men. “Yeeeesssss mayyyte, I killed Wazza, did ya see that? The big galah didn’t know what hit him. But nah, the boys were good today but we need to work on a few things, especially the delivery to our forwards. Dougie Fresh was good, liked Hayzie on the wing and when we get Roofy going, it will be all good to go against the farken Rhino scum of Wrigleyville”.


Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
Piranhas 1.1.7 0.3.3 1.1.7 4.0.24 6.5.41
Tigers 2.2.14 1.2.8 0.2.2 0.2.2 3.8.26
Goals Piranhas: Sacco (2), Malcolm, Beau, Ward
Tigers: Biggs, Burgmann, Panek
Best Piranhas: Malcolm, MacGlashan, Allen D, Gambaro, Hayes
Tigers: Brennan, Bradley, Morrisey, Meyer

We are missing 1 goal from the Piranhas. Whoever was wearing # 21 kicked it I think??

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  • Thomas Shearman
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